Bartender Rant

adults know their drink

[Bartender Rant @BartenderRants]

I get that putting together toys on Xmas Eve is a hassle but hooking up with your high school ex in the bar bathroom isn’t gonna make it easier. Go home to your family.

[Bartender Rant @BartenderRants]

The only thing isis and I agree on, karaoke night is the worst.

[Bartender Rant @BartenderRants]

Anytime you ask for green beer a leprechaun dies.

[Bartender Rant @BartenderRants]

Lemon drops shots are the universal order of a night going to hell.

[Bartender Rant @BartenderRants]

Sorry Chad, the presence of a Jaeger machine cannot be used as a defense in court

[Bartender Rant @BartenderRants]

People that say “smoky treats”should be sent to The Hague .

[Bartender Rant @BartenderRants]

When you say “ it’s too nice out to not get drunk” all I hear is “go ahead and add 20% to my bill and I’ll be pick up my card tomorrow”

[Bartender Rant @BartenderRants]

This is so good

[Kimberly 🧜🏻‍♀️ Dinaro💲 @KimberlyDinaro]

Cocktails according to an unemployed bartender

[Bartender Rant @BartenderRants]

Every bar should have one bartender working thats dedicated to NOT making craft cocktails...for efficiency sake.

[Bartender Rant @BartenderRants]

“Sorry we’re not open yet”
“But you’re here”
“Yep”
“Fine I’ll just take a quick beer”
“We’re not open yet”
“This is bullshit”

[Bartender Rant @BartenderRants]

I just heard a bartender ask a guy if he wanted something “spirit forward”

I’m on the run for murder now.

[LiesItoldmykidstoday @LiesItoldmykid1]

Honey, if enough people retweet me and I can get 100 followers then you can get a popsicle.

[LiesItoldmykidstoday @LiesItoldmykid1]

It’s illegal to wear a bikini until you’re 18.

[LiesItoldmykidstoday @LiesItoldmykid1]

Nobody is allowed to sell cookies until 11am today. I agree it is a stupid law.

[LiesItoldmykidstoday @LiesItoldmykid1]

Paw Patrol isn’t on TV anymore. Nope, neither is Dora.

[LiesItoldmykidstoday @LiesItoldmykid1]

If you say swear words your teeth will fall out.

[Bartender Rant @BartenderRants]

Nothing says the holidays like hearing a guy tell his 21 year old cousin how hot she’s gotten. So glad we made the family bar crawl list.

[Bartender Rant @BartenderRants]

I want a straight gin martini. Can you make it not taste like gin though? I hate gin. #StupidQuestionsForBartenders

[Bartender Rant @BartenderRants]

"We've got some wine to crush" says guy who thinks he's satisfied everyone woman he's been with. Spoiler 🚨: never has.

[Bartender Rant @BartenderRants]

Hey ladies, the pudgy guy with the Celtic knot necklace is looking to tell you your political stance is wrong and dry hump. *must be hot