Barton Anders

Still the same. Views expressed by this account sometimes but not necessarily representative of the honors dorm known as Anders. We commit crimes.

[Barton Anders @BartonAnders]

Just ruined 2025. 2026 is my year.

[Barton Anders @BartonAnders]

I will say this for perhaps the first and only time, thank you morons.

[Barton Anders @BartonAnders]

Sophomore highlights introduces Salem, the man responsible for running this account for the past year. Because of the spreading of misinformation online, he is being faced with up to a maximum of 250 years in prison with no chance of parole.

[Barton Anders @BartonAnders]

Junior highlights introduces Ainsley also known as Anders grandma. She has invented over 15 languages, mostly consisting of ways to insult people.

[Barton Anders @BartonAnders]

Junior highlights introduces Sean a trombonist. As a computer major, he was responsible for finding the Log4J exploit and hacked many computers.

[Barton Anders @BartonAnders]

The feed for this account has now become all meteorology tweets. #meteorologyisawesome #mechanicalengineeringsucks

[Barton Anders @BartonAnders]

Yo chat who let me in here?

[Barton Anders @BartonAnders]

Sophomore highlights introduces Tessa, our lovely RA. However, she is leaving us and it will be held against her in court.

[Barton Anders @BartonAnders]

Sophomore highlights introduces Ellie Grace, who went on a dog kicking spree this semester. In the 1800s, she started developing music that was used in psychiatric wards that caused even more pain and trauma.

[Barton Anders @BartonAnders]

Sophomore highlights introduces Sam, a man who will memorize your address. In 2011, Sam hacked the Sony PlayStation network, in order to get free games. Also to obtain people’s information and cause chaos.

[Barton Anders @BartonAnders]

Sophomore highlights introduces Trinity, also known as the Weather Goddess. As the Weather Goddess, she does control all the weather and all anger should be directed at her.

[Barton Anders @BartonAnders]

Sophomore highlights introduces Jess our 1st floor president how is broader lining impeachment. She was responsible for the Irish Potato Famine.

[Barton Anders @BartonAnders]

Sophomore highlights introduces Alex a very bad Elden Ring player. Alex grew up playing ice hockey, but unfortunately was part of the hazing that caused the ISU Hockey Club to be suspended.

[Barton Anders @BartonAnders]

It’s 2:30 and the fire alarm went off. Who the fuck pulled the fire alarm?

[Barton Anders @BartonAnders]

Sophomore highlights introduces Michael, a man who we are not sure is alive. He helped invent the food pyramid which was a propaganda scheme to limit the potential of the youth.

[Barton Anders @BartonAnders]

Sophomore Highlights introduces Thaddeus, a washed up Crumpets player. Thaddeus is single handedly responsible for global warming.

[Barton Anders @BartonAnders]

i am going to burn down all of illinois

[Barton Anders @BartonAnders]

Sophomore highlights introduces Seth who split a CyRide after drinking GatorMilk. Seth then gave GatorMilk to 247 lacrosse intolerant people in hopes of healing them. Instead, 136 people died, 82 people hospitalized, and 29 people went missing.

[Barton Anders @BartonAnders]

Sophomore highlights introduces Jake an avid gym lifter. He recently made a protein powder called PeakPulse Protein, that contained steroids and multiple drugs including meth and crack.

[Barton Anders @BartonAnders]

Freshman Highlights introduces James, a Computer Engineer major. He helped invent the Apple III that had no cooling fan, causing a total of 283 total houses to burn down across the U.S.