Batman

*PARODY* Caped Crusader, World's Greatest Winged Mammal Themed Superhero. MY HANDS ARE HUGE!!!!

[Darwyn Metzger ⚫️ @DarwynsTheory]

Gen Z’ers,

You think the 90’s are your ally.

But you merely adopted the 90’s.

I was born in it, moulded by it.

[Darwyn Metzger ⚫️ @DarwynsTheory]

Free idea for @elonmusk:

Auto-pilot w/ a pay-per-minute service to have a human remotely take over my car (using existing censors + VR + drone tech).

I would easily pay $1 per minute to have remote on-demand human + AI piloting of my own car.

Funding secured.

[Darwyn Metzger ⚫️ @DarwynsTheory]

Marvel developed hundreds of wildly different characters with 80 years of cultural significance.

Star Wars developed a dozen marginally different characters with 40 years of cultural significance... who are all dead now... or named Jar Jar Binks. https://t.co/J6cxEaqYhE

[Batman @BatmanStoned]

It's Mother's Day and no I don't want to talk about it.

MARTHAAAAAAA!

[Batman @BatmanStoned]

Ivy: U up bby?
Me: Always.
Ivy: Dtf?
Me: Last time I got a rash.
Ivy: I've got pot.
Me: Be there in five.

[Batman @BatmanStoned]

Happy #WorldPenguinDay you fucking weirdo.

[Batman @BatmanStoned]

GUYS I JUST WOKE UP FROM 4/20 WHAT DID I MISS!?

[Batman @BatmanStoned]

I'm so fucking high right now. Is this cookie eternal?

[Batman @BatmanStoned]

No amount of weed could save Batman v Superman for me.

[Batman @BatmanStoned]

The Killing Joke animated film is getting an R rating for containing elements of strong violence AND TOO MUCH WEED YEEEEAAAHHH!

[Batman @BatmanStoned]

Zack Snyder made me a serial killer.

[Batman @BatmanStoned]

Some kid walked up to me in a Batman costume and said, "I'm Batman." and I said, "No, I'm Batman." and he said, "I'm Batman." and I said, "N

[Batman @BatmanStoned]

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na WEED TIME!

[Batman @BatmanStoned]

Of course it was my idea.

[Batman @BatmanStoned]

This GIF breaks my heart every time.

[Batman @BatmanStoned]

This sums up Batman vs Superman.

[Batman @BatmanStoned]

Finally saw Batman vs Superman. Huboy, did you know I shoot people with guns now?

[Batman @BatmanStoned]

Reshoots on Suicide Squad to make it "funnier"? Am I high as fuck or is the title of that movie Suicide Squad?

[Batman @BatmanStoned]

I sent Ben Affleck a baggie of weed and a note that said, "It's not your fault. It's not your fault."