Tom Beale

You're not a baby cow, bro.

[Tom Beale @BealeTom]

ALEX IWOBI IS HILARIOUS.

[Tom Beale @BealeTom]

Here's a tutorial on how to say "give me the million quid" without ever saying those words.

[Football on TNT Sports @footballontnt]

You can get a £100k agent fee or a £1m agent fee...

"Where do you tell your player to go?" 👀

We got a football agent on #PLTonight and Harry Redknapp wasn't letting him get off lightly 👏🤑

[Tom Beale @BealeTom]

@KarlBrown85 @AlexShawESPN Easier said than done. Where will he go? Who will actually want him on the form of the last year and a half/two years? Who will pay his wages?

[Tom Beale @BealeTom]

@AlexShawESPN @AdamCrafton_ How's his Chinese?

[Tom Beale @BealeTom]

If we play like that against Fulham, we'll win 5-0. If we play like that against PSG, we'll lose 5-0.

#LeiMun #MUFC #Fulham #PSG

[Andy West @andywest01]

La Liga...nine points between 5th place and the relegation zone. #competitive

[Tom Beale @BealeTom]

@talkSPORT TRANSFER DEADLINE DAY.

[Tom Beale @BealeTom]

@Barrettsteve1 @Arsenal Jesus. They all deserve to be shipped out to the CSL for that.

[Tom Beale @BealeTom]

@parknuthouse @fares_schalabi @ukrftrbrx @SkySportsStatto Park made over 200 appearances for United, consistently picked for the biggest games (champions league final), and had earlier taken PSV to the semis, won 100 caps and came 4th at a world cup...yes Ki would've won trophies (see Cleverley et al) but Park was an exceptional player.

[Tom Beale @BealeTom]

@fares_schalabi @ukrftrbrx @SkySportsStatto Park Ji Sung, for now. Based on trophy haul, Son arguably a better player.

[FC Barcelona @FCBarcelona]

👑 11th straight season in which #Messi has scored 20 @LaLigaEN goals.
✅ 2008/09 (23)
✅ 2009/10 (34)
✅ 2010/11 (31)
✅ 2011/12 (50)
✅ 2012/13 (46)
✅ 2013/14 (28)
✅ 2014/15 (43)
✅ 2015/16 (26)
✅ 2016/17 (37)
✅ 2017/18 (34)
✅ 2018/19 (20, for now...)
🔵🔴 #BarçaValencia

[Tom Beale @BealeTom]

@IszAmber I know you're a full time rugby watching, wrestling obsessed LAAAAAAD 💪🏉

[Match of the Day @BBCMOTD]

"Am I still on?"

Glorious work from John Acres! You'll never find a better piece of commentary about a cat on the pitch. 🐈

Watch: https://t.co/0qzb6xmZ8M

[Tom Beale @BealeTom]

GOAT 🐐

Obvs.

[Tom Beale @BealeTom]

@IszAmber Haha. I've got an Android. maybe they just know you're a fake fan 👀

[Tom Beale @BealeTom]

@IszAmber 🏈 sucks 2 b u. What shitty phone have you got? 🏈

[Tom Beale @BealeTom]

Bring back Bolton.

#Ballers

[Premier League @premierleague]

🚀

#GoalOfTheDay @OfficialBWFC

[BBC Sport @BBCSport]

It's great to see him back in football.

Steve Bruce sets the record straight.

[Tom Beale @BealeTom]

Get your serious football podding from the excellent @TheTotallyShow , then your pub chat version from @maxrushden and @bglendenning on @guardian .
Both equally brilliant.