Fat Gandalf

Scoundrel emeritus. Thirst trap connoisseur. Artistic Muse. I'm here to flirt with e-girls and to sell my beardcare products and my wife's art.

[Fat Gandalf @BeardDaddy]

My beloved wife, Tara Cox, is one of Alaska's most talented artists but she hates social media and refuses to get on X. I'd prefer to remain a lurker but if I don't post her paintings nobody will.
Let's start with "Butterbear", which marks the start of Tara's transition from traditional landscape to more surreal/mystic/psychedelic themes. Bears are dangerous but they also have a playful silly side that Tara wanted to capture the spirit of. Plus she just likes putting wings on things...
#surrealism #Alaska #MythicAlaska

[Fat Gandalf @BeardDaddy]

I knew I hit the jackpot with my wife shortly after we met. We pulled up to a drive thru coffee shack and the barista was a stunning blond. I glanced over at my future wife to see if I was in trouble for drooling and all I saw was a lustful smile. She said, "I know dude. I saw it too."

[Fat Gandalf @BeardDaddy]

I suppose you can call whatever the AI produces "art" but I disagree with the human prompter taking credit as the artist. At most I would say they are the muse or maybe a patron. For example, take this portrait my wife made of me. Most of the content was my idea. I was also the source of copious amounts of orgasms to put her in the creative mood. Even so I would never think to claim an artist credit for the piece. Seems to me that your interaction with AI is analogous to me and my wife, minus the orgasms.

[Fat Gandalf @BeardDaddy]

@MomaBera Now I am yearning too... For the hot Swedish horse girl who de-virginized me when I was an exchange student. She initially jumped me to make her ex jealous. She became my girlfriend when she saw that her horse really liked me.

[Fat Gandalf @BeardDaddy]

@RedRebeccax What is your favorite insult to yell at a server who keeps screwing up orders? It's been 28 years since I was a cook but I still remember the Vietnamese curse words my immigrant coworkers taught me.

[Fat Gandalf @BeardDaddy]

@RedRebeccax Have you ever considered a move to Alaska? We have a saying for women looking to date: the odds are good but the goods are odd.

[Fat Gandalf @BeardDaddy]

@RedRebeccax @nypost I hear there is also an add-on accessory pack that comes with a strap on for Barbie, plus a pink tutu, gimp mask, and tshirt that says "cleanup crew" for boyfriend Ken.

[Fat Gandalf @BeardDaddy]

@RedRebeccax I've only been following you for a few days but it seems like a degenerate pervert would be a good match for you. Chances are they would view your pic posting as a plus. I certainly would.

[Fat Gandalf @BeardDaddy]

My wife is an artist who does live painting events. I sometimes tag along as her muse and just sit next to her meditating or talking to guests. Guys will come up to her and very earnestly ask about her process with zero flirting. The women are shameless. I guess I must be perceived as high value because I bagged an artist. They flirt, touch my arm, bite their lips and try to get me to try on the silly hats they are wearing. Luckily my wife thinks it is funny.

[Fat Gandalf @BeardDaddy]

@RedRebeccax Would you be open to a sister wife if she also liked wrestling?

[Fat Gandalf @BeardDaddy]

@masochistanna Plus Crocs are part of my signature look. Even had an artist add them to a portrait of me

[Fat Gandalf @BeardDaddy]

@Pandora_Delaney Plus who cares if there is a gap. If I make my woman orgasm 5-10x right before she falls asleep then I'm waking up to the most amazing slow sloppy morning wood blowjob. The scales are balanced at that point.

[Fat Gandalf @BeardDaddy]

@0xLeohart Fable

[Fat Gandalf @BeardDaddy]

I'm convinced all women can experience that with the right partner and some practice. By practice I mean him not you. You have a rhythm to your orgasms that he needs to be able to sync up with and riff off of. Kinda like playing an instrument. My advice: put "Stranglehold" by Ted Nugent on in the background and tell your guy to imagine strumming your bean like it is a string instrument.

[Fat Gandalf @BeardDaddy]

@xwanyex My 15 yr stepdaughter is not allowed to walk down the street to her friend's house when she is at her dad's house and he is not home. Nice, no crime neighborhood. She hates going there. The guy is an ass but I don't think he is unique.

[Fat Gandalf @BeardDaddy]

@FWPlayboy I'm fat, bald, and middle aged, BUT my beard is epic and when I laugh my belly shakes like a bowl full of jelly. All it takes is a deep voiced Ho Ho Ho and the Santa fetish gals come running

[Fat Gandalf @BeardDaddy]

@MurrayHillGuy1 I know there's a lot of haters for this lifestyle but a doofy doodle really does make it tolerable.

[Fat Gandalf @BeardDaddy]

@MrsSteak I don't get why you aren't retired early, living of a fat sexual harassment settlement? With those looks and your spreadsheet skills you should have ended at least one Arizona CFO's career by now.

[Fat Gandalf @BeardDaddy]

I own a cabin in the interior of Alaska that's nextdoor to a Princess Cruises lodge. Last year my wife and I decided to try their restaurant. It was surreal. Somehow we were in the middle of the AK wilderness, with views of Mt Denali, and yet, it did not feel like AK at all. The staff was mostly foreign or L48 and the lodge felt like a Disney display, not AK itself.

[Fat Gandalf @BeardDaddy]

Here's a few dragons for you to enjoy. They were painted by my wife, who was definitely a weird art girl in grade school. She might have shunned you too but only due to her own insecurities and low self worth. She's sorted through all that as an adult and would totally play dragons with you now. The same might be true for the girl you knew.