Alligator Chapstick

I'm Allen. Comedian, Writer, Actor, Podcaster, Horror enthusiast. Watches a lot of pro wrestling and MST3K. Scary stories and dick jokes. Bi.

[Alligator Chapstick @BeastBannon]

Plans for reinventing myself

-Eat Healthier
-Be more active
-Wear Plain black trunks
-Grey t shirt (tucked into trunks, always wet)
-Grow mustache
-have a lot of titles
-Do the Beast Lock
-Enter all rooms to Dan Severn’s theme
-I’m Dan Severn now
-Fuck you I’m Dan Severn

[Alligator Chapstick @BeastBannon]

@ghosterina Breaking twitter retirement briefly.

I used to play bass for Inadequate Grass.

Re-retiring.

[Alligator Chapstick @BeastBannon]

Delaying this to 7 PM. Still happening. Shemp Lives!

[Alligator Chapstick @BeastBannon]

Doing my second Shempfield stream Thursday before I go on vacation.

Shemp finally has a shotgun. Will he ever get to use it or will he be sent on more errands to push buttons? Will he join the space cops? Will he kiss robot?

Find out Thursday at 6PM CT!

https://t.co/eMcsaEmjWV

[Alligator Chapstick @BeastBannon]

Doing my second Shempfield stream Thursday before I go on vacation.

Shemp finally has a shotgun. Will he ever get to use it or will he be sent on more errands to push buttons? Will he join the space cops? Will he kiss robot?

Find out Thursday at 6PM CT!

https://t.co/eMcsaEmjWV

[Alligator Chapstick @BeastBannon]

This was supposed to be ‘January 15th’. As in this Thursday.

Oops.

[Alligator Chapstick @BeastBannon]

Haha what if once every two weeks on https://t.co/KWsz7N2mIj I started streaming something like, I dunno STARFIELD as the new adventures of Shemp.

That’d be crazy.

Especially if the first time I did it was like, January 25th at around 6 PM CT.

That’d be NUTS.

[Alligator Chapstick @BeastBannon]

Haha what if once every two weeks on https://t.co/KWsz7N2mIj I started streaming something like, I dunno STARFIELD as the new adventures of Shemp.

That’d be crazy.

Especially if the first time I did it was like, January 25th at around 6 PM CT.

That’d be NUTS.

[Alligator Chapstick @BeastBannon]

Literally.

Broke me.

[Jinkies Junkies Podcast @JinkiesJunkies]

@BeastBannon And the image that broke Allen

[Alligator Chapstick @BeastBannon]

I will find any excuse to talk about Mormon Bigfoot and Marvin Sease.

[Jinkies Junkies Podcast @JinkiesJunkies]

Get your podcast nickel ready, we just placed a new episode in it's glass viewing case! @BeastBannon joins us once again, just in time for the end of the Laff-A-Lympics! Listen in as we talk about the worst thing Scooby and Shaggy have ever done, amongst other things.

[Alligator Chapstick @BeastBannon]

@BackupHangman Gentrified mayo.

[Alligator Chapstick @BeastBannon]

@2K @Borderlands @GearboxOfficial PS5

[Alligator Chapstick @BeastBannon]

That company brought a whole-ass rapist back one month ago.

They could release the Epstein Files tomorrow and if anyone on there could do a decent Frog Splash you’d all give everyone on the list a pass.

[Alligator Chapstick @BeastBannon]

@aradiamoment Love this.

[Alligator Chapstick @BeastBannon]

Thrackerzod voice actor here with the assist (couldn’t figure out how to lower my voice to usual Thrack level on my phone sorry)

[Petirep 🔜 GalaCon @Petirep]

Results of today's Free Draw Request Stream: We have Thrackerzod being normal, Trixie performing a trick, and a lovely goth Axolotl!

[Alligator Chapstick @BeastBannon]

Hi to all the new people following me because I voiced some horses in my 20’s!

I don’t post here a lot anymore but it’s dope you’re here!

[Alligator Chapstick @BeastBannon]

@Petirep @ShenDoodles @minxtaperino Pffft. So modest.

[Alligator Chapstick @BeastBannon]

@RolePerSecond Eerie Stories is far and away the best thing I’ve ever played at GenCon and if you do an English release of the box set I can not WAIT to give you money for it.

[Alligator Chapstick @BeastBannon]

@HaangEmHiigh Literally the same pose as the Colbert ‘I have a black friend’ picture.

[Alligator Chapstick @BeastBannon]

@erickoenreich Ain’t even a LITTLE close. Sting clears.

[Alligator Chapstick @BeastBannon]

I’m for the most part moved over to the other site, but I just wanted you guys to know that I’m going to be drinking and playing Supermarket Simulator on stream in a little under an hour.

https://t.co/b8ahqstax7

[Andrew Woods @JimJarmuschHair]

“A special Home Improvement followed by The Diet Mug Root Beer Dana Carvey Show”

[evan loves worf @esjesjesj]

-The “literal zombies” represent climate change, not immigrants
-The people north of the wall, who do represent immigrants, are shown to be morally superior to the people protected by the wall
-The wall ends up being completely ineffective
-The true villains are rich people