Will Schreiner

Pittsburgh Comedian and Video Connoisseur. Technically a paid professional. Still waiting for Vine to come back.

[Will Schreiner @Beeshrine]

What you get from unraveling a sweater: a thread 🧵

[Will Schreiner @Beeshrine]

@sarahoftherings Quails on the trail? Now I’ve seen everything

[Will Schreiner @Beeshrine]

Why does this Italian lesson feel so French?

[Will Schreiner @Beeshrine]

@itssarahdutcher You should see how spooked he gets when he hears the phrase “cancel culture”

[Will Schreiner @Beeshrine]

@Cactuscali1991 It’s a perfect starter car

[Will Schreiner @Beeshrine]

“Jesus take the wheel”???

The man never even had a learner’s permit.

[Will Schreiner @Beeshrine]

The problem with me and my gf both using birth control is that we aren’t sure who’s IUD is doing the heavy lifting

[Will Schreiner @Beeshrine]

@itssarahdutcher It was a better title than “edgelords rating edgelords”, so I’ll give them that

[Will Schreiner @Beeshrine]

@itssarahdutcher It’s pronounced hell-UH. Not hell-ah

[Will Schreiner @Beeshrine]

@JanyNicole Can’t tell if real but so plausible

[Will Schreiner @Beeshrine]

@itssarahdutcher Hey wait

[Will Schreiner @Beeshrine]

@itssarahdutcher I’m getting ratio’d for trying to be a caring father

[Will Schreiner @Beeshrine]

@hotgirlellie

[Will Schreiner @Beeshrine]

Girlfriend was not as excited as I had hoped to find out I have been keeping a spider nest in my office secret from my coworkers so I can watch the babies grow up

[Will Schreiner @Beeshrine]

@mariabamfoo See you there!

[Will Schreiner @Beeshrine]

String theory is when my cats see a string and hypothesizes that he can swallow it without throwing it back up (he can’t)

[Will Schreiner @Beeshrine]

I’m not a touring comedian but i’ll put on a hell of a performance if you come to me

[Will Schreiner @Beeshrine]

Love is dead 😢 💔

[Armand Domalewski @ArmandDoma]

BREAKING: Laura Loomer just got banned from Trump’s plane, per reports

[Will Schreiner @Beeshrine]

People would have the exact opposite reaction if they found out Tim Walz fucked the bisexual couch

[Will Schreiner @Beeshrine]

@itssarahdutcher @twaniimals Any cat can pretend to be this chill for treats

[Will Schreiner @Beeshrine]

@gingeralesauce I have no idea what she’s saying it’s like a different language to me

[Will Schreiner @Beeshrine]

Chapell Roan has a gay little chokehold on my gf and I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to win her back