Lady Lara Croft

Unemployed aristocratic accumulator of antiquities. Over 50 and loving it. She Who Must Be Obeyed/Her Ladyship.
ESRB: RATING MATURE (FICTION/SATIRE)

[Lady Lara Croft @Being_Croft]

£1,078. 21p (excludes applicable taxes..) or £179.70p a month.

Me: Winston..how much in my piggy bank?
Winnie: Er..57p, madam
Me: Excellent! Like 99.9% of my chums I can't afford myself, darling

[Lady Lara Croft @Being_Croft]

@_nastiaershova_ My fav artwork this year. Fabulous, darling

[Lady Lara Croft @Being_Croft]

@Lady_Scion Papyrus. They love it, darling

[Lady Lara Croft @Being_Croft]

@MaimieAC Mask. Without doubt, darling

[Lady Lara Croft @Being_Croft]

@Adey800 It's called 'age' darling..trust me on this 😪

[Lady Lara Croft @Being_Croft]

@BoyTombRaider Fabulous

[Lady Lara Croft @Being_Croft]

@JHNMCHLTNR Indeed, sir

[Lady Lara Croft @Being_Croft]

@Kello_Ren @JHNMCHLTNR Perked me up, darling

[Lady Lara Croft @Being_Croft]

@JHNMCHLTNR 😂

[Lady Lara Croft @Being_Croft]

My response when Tokakeriby police officers asked me why I was the only one wearing a parachute when mummy's plane went down, darlings

[Lady Lara Croft @Being_Croft]

@Adey800 Perhaps..but always with style and panache, darling 💋

[Lady Lara Croft @Being_Croft]

Punter: You're an archaeologist, yeah?
Me: Yes, darling
Punt: So you study dinosaurs, yeah?
Me: Yes..I shoot them, too
Punt: ..and aliens, yeah?
Me: Of course. Area 51 is my second home
Union of Archaeologists: Oh dear god!
Me: Oh do shut up, darlings..it pays the mortgage

[Lady Lara Croft @Being_Croft]

@lui_log @DrEmilineSmith @Catawiki Call those tiddlers, tiddies? I laugh in your face, darling

[Lady Lara Croft @Being_Croft]

Me: OK Mr Monkey..how about..you give me the medi pack and I give you a pair of pliers to remove the hearth brush from your arse, darling? Deal?

[Henry @HenrysArts]

TR III Month. Art 6, last.

[Lady Lara Croft @Being_Croft]

@Kello_Ren I hope it doesn't cut off at..'Constantly choking on her as..', darling! One big bum on your follow list is enough for anyone!
Winston: "Tee-hee.."
Me: "Shut up, farty pants"

[Lady Lara Croft @Being_Croft]

@geeketiquetteYT My thoughts are with you and your family ❤️

[Lady Lara Croft @Being_Croft]

@16bitnostalgia @SzilvisC Oh I do so love romance, darling ❤️

[Lady Lara Croft @Being_Croft]

@Adey800 @chelahhorsdal I don't need a curry to make me sweat and weep, darling..welcome to menopause

[Lady Lara Croft @Being_Croft]

@LaraCroft4ever Fabulous, darling

[Lady Lara Croft @Being_Croft]

@16bitnostalgia Ding-Dong, darling!