Larry David

The Twitter about nothing. Larry David Parody. Comedian, Actor, Producer and Writer. To contact me: [email protected]

[Larry David @BeingLarryDavid]

@BenStiller @BaronDavis Any chance you're giving away your finals shirt that comes with your seat?

[Larry David @BeingLarryDavid]

@BenStiller Knicks in 4 Ben!

[Larry David @BeingLarryDavid]

@springsteen Here's a way to alienate fans. Dynamic pricing. Great job Bruce!

[Larry David @BeingLarryDavid]

I'm at the age where I take Viagra so I don't roll off the bed in the middle of the night.

[Larry David @BeingLarryDavid]

10 days in and I've already accomplished my New Years Resolution. I'm no longer friends with Tim, my former friend who doesn't like pizza.

[Larry David @BeingLarryDavid]

You know, I believe they need to rethink this social distancing strategy. 12 feet minimum if you're at your job.

[Larry David @BeingLarryDavid]

Pre-tty, pre-tty…

[Cheryl Hines @CherylHines]

Season 10 of #CurbYourEnthusiasm premieres January 19th, which means you only have 10 days to get your binge on. #CurbCountdown #tbt

[Larry David @BeingLarryDavid]

This one hurts. RIP Funk-Man.

[Larry David @BeingLarryDavid]

I don’t go places where there’s a slight chance I have to parallel park.

[Larry David @BeingLarryDavid]

Online recipes...the worst. Too much pandering. No one cares Tammy about who loved your veal cutlets. Just give me the fucking recipe. Unbelievable.

[Larry David @BeingLarryDavid]

Halloween idea, put an Eli Manning jersey on. Instead of throwing candy to the kid at the end of sidewalk, check it down to the front door.

[Larry David @BeingLarryDavid]

Just mail your money to the casino office, save yourself the gas.

[Larry David @BeingLarryDavid]

@billburr Whoa! The Yanks are fucking walking here!

[Larry David @BeingLarryDavid]

Now, it’s time for some Feats of Strength.

[Larry David @BeingLarryDavid]

@BroadwayJulie Fatwa?

[Larry David @BeingLarryDavid]

Today, tell everyone exactly what you think of them. Happy Festivus

[Larry David @BeingLarryDavid]

Want a vacation? Send your significant other somewhere nice for a week.

[Larry David @BeingLarryDavid]

So when does Pokemon Go become a cash cow for Uber drivers?

[Richard Lewis @TheRichardLewis]

Curb Your Enthusiasm - Larry and Richard Lewis

@HBOCurb My favorite fight with Ld. https://t.co/eODm4DtMBa

[Larry David @BeingLarryDavid]

Seems like you Schmohawks missed Curb Your Enthusiasm pre-tty, pre-tty, pre-tty bad. #Curb9