Ben Jacobs

[Ben Jacobs @Ben_Jacobs1187]

No one:

Benjamin Franklin:

[Bryce Warren @i_warrened_you]

Sheeww good day to fly a kite

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Something extremely bogus is going on. Was tested for covid four times today. Two tests came back negative, two came back positive. Same machine, same test, same nurse. Rapid antigen test from BD.

[Ayush @pennewisee]

Doctor: Your body has ran out of magnesium.

Me: 0mg

[ryan @ryantheleader]

I'm literally holding the biggest fish in the picture what do you mean you aren't horny

[palmer @decentbirthday]

Just put Skype out of business

[Jeffery Perkins @JefferyxBball]

*All classes are online now*

Lunch ladies:

[Julito McCullum aka LITO @IamJulito]

“Well I’ll be damn, my paw!”

[the hype @TheHyyyype]

me passing someone: u slow bitch

me being passed: ok speed racer

[Big Tucson Dad @BigTucsonDad]

Top sheets are unnecessary and dumb and I’m tired of pretending that they aren’t

[kenZhe the tattoo artist @zvvzhe]

this one real life pissed me off.

[Saber-Toothed Mountain Lion Puma Cat🇹🇹 @Tobago_Slim]

Cut the cameras.. deadass

[☆ ‧dreamboy··‧̩̥˟͙冬˟͙‧̩̥l @LilNasX]

me at a funeral after saying we should cut the person open to see if they’re cake

[Friggan @CaptFriggan]

If Twitter was an actual place, WTFFFFFFF

[Chuck Durham @C_Durham89]

Piece of shit motherfucker

[ms.capricorn @thenettayvette]

when the store says it’s open on google but you go up there & it’s not

[Emon$ @emondadonn]

Yall go to the pool to be cute ???! Hand me my goggles

[toxic king @toxicking]

Feel free to get drunk at my funeral. It’s what I would’ve wanted.