Benedict Spence

Gentleman columnist. Occasionally on your screen. Now, for instance. Mostly microplastic. My views are of terraced houses.

[Benedict Spence @BenedictSpence]

Imagine needing 280 characters to demonstrate you don’t have one.

[Benedict Spence @BenedictSpence]

They’ll go full Mr Burns and try to block the sun next.

[Politics UK @PolitlcsUK]

🚨 NEW: The Government is being advised to ban sunbed salons due to the health impacts of radiation

[Benedict Spence @BenedictSpence]

Yes, and we’re right.

[David Burge @iowahawkblog]

UK soccer people on Twitter like "Americans just don't get it, oi? All their soulless corporate stadiums with indoor plumbing will never have the aura of 8,000 packing the terraces of Old Shittingdon for a nil-nil match, slipping on each other's vomit and singing Georgie Girl"

[Benedict Spence @BenedictSpence]

It’s literally in both their interests.

[Yvette Cooper @YvetteCooperMP]

The resumption of conflict between Iran and Israel is in no one’s interest. Both sides must show restraint and de-escalate immediately.

Negotiations must continue towards the lasting settlement that we all need, for peace and stability in the region, and for the full restoration of global trade.

[Adam Sellers @YisraelChaiAdam]

“Dear President Petro, I was pleasantly surprised to read your tweet….”

[Adam Wren @aswren]

Worth pointing out here that for decades they hid behind the ‘there’s not enough data’ while actively ignoring some grooming gangs and hoping they would find white ones. Something rotten in Manchester, genuinely evil

[Benedict Spence @BenedictSpence]

@LFCZA @greggevans40 Think Iraola will succeed at Liverpool, if given the players and if we accept this coming season will see some real growing pains. But I doubt Hughes cares *too* much about legacy, if he’s off to the Saudi league.

[Dave Rich @daverich1]

Barghouti was acquitted of most charges (but still convicted of some) which suggests he got a fair trial. And there's no proof Mandela ever said that. But why let facts get in the way when there's a convicted terrorist to support?

[Benedict Spence @BenedictSpence]

This is perhaps the saddest thing he’s ever posted.

[Benedict Spence @BenedictSpence]

Think that says quite a lot about the sport itself, and the demographic trying to promote it.

[Uncle Chu @datchuguyy]

“If you take Arsenal women football out of the total numbers, you’re looking at double digits decline in attendance. Arsenal women accounts for 41% of the attendance in the Women Super League, there is a huge decline in attendance“

Charlie Stebbings (Sports Analyst)

[Benedict Spence @BenedictSpence]

In all for children’s safety in the digital world. But the physical world is a little more important.

[Benedict Spence @BenedictSpence]

Starmer rolling back digital freedoms whilst shrieking “won’t somebody *please* think of the children?!” like Helen Lovejoy would seem more sincere if said children weren’t increasingly at risk of being stabbed or sexually assaulted by people he wants us to “be kind” to.

[Benedict Spence @BenedictSpence]

Tip 1: don’t drink alcohol.
Tip 2: if that fails, give up.

[BBC News (UK) @BBCNews]

My drinking days are over - here are my tips for an alcohol-free World Cup https://t.co/kQpb8TZ4wH

[Benedict Spence @BenedictSpence]

If the US tries to cut and run from Iran, it hastens Israel decoupling from it.

The conflict won’t really end. And a lot of Americans who hate that they’re tied to Israel are going to be really, really upset when they see how an Israel without the US at its side behaves.

[Barak Ravid @BarakRavid]

🚨🚨Israeli officials say there are indications for possible missile attack from Iran in the coming hours

[Benedict Spence @BenedictSpence]

@SimonBrundish We need a new, deeply flawed cult hero if Chiesa’s off. He’ll do nicely.

[Benedict Spence @BenedictSpence]

On the plus side, the UK is going to have a cracking Winter Olympics team in a century or so.

[David Ullrich @DavidUllrich202]

Mysterious ‘cold blob’ in the Atlantic suggests the AMOC is weakening

A patch of ocean south-east of Greenland is the only place on Earth that is cooling, and it could be a sign that the warm water “conveyor belt” in the Atlantic is slowing down

https://t.co/iOP7S0fjUS

https://t.co/nKdwhlJCaW

[Benedict Spence @BenedictSpence]

Soon to become the next chancellor of the exchequer.

[Anonymous @YourAnonOne]

A man was discovered with almost 90% of his brain mass missing, yet living an almost normal life

[Benedict Spence @BenedictSpence]

Stick these two on the ballot and Fr. Jack Hackett would be duly elected MP for Makerfield.

[Benedict Spence @BenedictSpence]

Hold up a sec

[Benedict Spence @BenedictSpence]

@Kettle_of_Smeg @melindiscott I spotted it when the account first appeared, and again, just clocked it as a mildly amusing touch to add to the character.

[Benedict Spence @BenedictSpence]

For a long time I assumed it was a parody account for that very reason.

[Roy Jenkinsite 🇬🇧 @shriverist]

It's so funny to me how much this guy looks like a stock image of an average Green Party member