benjamin kjos

I used to play the French Horn.

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Super Bowl Crowd Erupts In Applause As Rihanna Brings Out Richard Kind https://t.co/UJQBDB1TfK

[Joe Blevins @Joe_A_Blevins]

Be honest, Van Helsing. How do I look? Is it bad? #svengoolie

[benjamin kjos @Benjamin_D]

@Svengoolie Any recommendations for the perfect garlic recipe to finish out tonight’s movie with maximum protection? #HorrorOfDracula

[benjamin kjos @Benjamin_D]

“SLIDE” detergent security at Target…
I assume it’s loud as you slide it so people are less likely to shoplift?

[benjamin kjos @Benjamin_D]

@gemelket “Gettin’ a big hit of kiwi” and “that cash could get me out of a couple of jams” — both from Melissa McCarthy’s @nbcsnl skit about Hidden Valley Ranch taste test.

[benjamin kjos @Benjamin_D]

I like that after you played @JennyKDWB’s first song of the day intro during the show, the app thinks it’s actually Nelly. @daveryankdwb @falenkdwb

[benjamin kjos @Benjamin_D]

@Svengoolie I don’t think I’ll get over the fact he asked if a négligée could be created for the doll. #svengoolie

[Michelle Obama @MichelleObama]

My thoughts on the Supreme Court's decision to overturn Roe v. Wade.

[Amanda @Pandamoanimum]

The final dance in Dirty Dancing, but they’re dancing to The Muppet Show theme tune.

[benjamin kjos @Benjamin_D]

No dog walkers or smokers out tonight, 10:58pm @falenkdwb @JennyKDWB

[benjamin kjos @Benjamin_D]

Love this! @ConfabEvents #confab2022

[benjamin kjos @Benjamin_D]

Dear @EinsteinBros, today, someone at your Coffee & Bagels location in Edina, Minnesota surprised me with the most generous amount of cream cheese I’ve ever had. It honest to god made my day. Thank you to that person. Now ends this wonderful story.

[HELLO! Canada @HelloCanada]

Ladies & gentlemen, Liza Minelli! #Oscar

[benjamin kjos @Benjamin_D]

The ultimate compliment, “you’re more of a Culver’s kind of guy.” @falenkdwb @daveryankdwb

[benjamin kjos @Benjamin_D]

Didn’t expect there to be a billboard that says, “Dave Ryan gave me crabs” in Minneapolis—but it exists! @daveryankdwb @falenkdwb @JennyKDWB

[Dolly Parton @DollyParton]

Just hangin’ out in my birthday suit!

[Adele @Adele]

Oh My God Video - January 12

[benjamin kjos @Benjamin_D]

“The guy dying of thirst is now a mineral water critic?” @succession

[benjamin kjos @Benjamin_D]

And on his final eve of his early thirties, he enjoyed writing a tweet about himself in the third person.