Ben

Abbysinian wire-haired tripe hound.

[Ben @Benniff]

Had one of my Product Idea Dreams last night. Insulated coffee flasks that look exactly like tramp fuel tins eg; Special Brew, White Ace, so you look like you're downing tins on your morning commute.

I'm looking for a £500,000 investment for 0.1% of the business.

[Ben @Benniff]

"Drive it like you stole it", they say.

Anyway that's why I no longer fly for British Airways

[Ben @Benniff]

@eyebrows360 Actually you done weren't in my follow list so en-clicked follow and then the universe with the explodink and OY

[Ben @Benniff]

@eyebrows360 Because YOU HIDE MY INSULIN

[Ben @Benniff]

I have acquired camera monopod. Finally, a fourth leg.

[Ben @Benniff]

Off to workshop to play with nailguns. Now need Quad Damage.

[Ben @Benniff]

OH NO YOU DI'INT

[Ben @Benniff]

Birmingham must be the world capital of ugly little men in ugly little cars blaring out ugly bass music loud enough to awaken God. At 3AM.

[Ben @Benniff]

'Pagan Pride' march went past work. Very Wicker Man. Imagine the carnage if they crossed paths with Gay Pride.

[Ben @Benniff]

'normous day of excursions with the Jessington yesterday. Walks! Boats! Illicit fence climbing! Rave AND Morris dancing!

[Ben @Benniff]

Also it's implied that Scotty lost Captain Archer's dog in a transporter experiment. Archer and the dog must be at least 150 by that point.

[Ben @Benniff]

Star Trek! Good, but now that's two consecutive films where the baddy is a pissed off Romulan with a giant spiky doom-ship. New ideas plz.

[Ben @Benniff]

Full moon tomorrow, and it shows. Terminal kooks in the shop!

[Ben @Benniff]

Work good today. Impressive new window display, and wrote blurbs for top games. Talking like Rorschach today. Must investigate further.

[Ben @Benniff]

Joy! We have a freezer again so can resume 21st Century living. Also finally got round to making a start on me Stompa. It will stomp you!

[Ben @Benniff]

Co-workers called me today, unable to start the till. They couldn't find the ON button. If they need a piss, do I gotta hold their dicks?

[Ben @Benniff]

@jessiola sounds black!

[Ben @Benniff]

In 18 days I've had cold, flu, tonsilitis and conjunctivitis. I'm going to try and get swine flu next, if there's room left for any more.

[Ben @Benniff]

Additional: Whiskey in plastic bottles? If you're going to stoop that low, you might as well go ahead and suck it from a fucking brillo pad.

[Ben @Benniff]

Oh Gourd, 9 straight days of work, now off. I am having a cider and pistachio party. Alone, in my living room, with my orks.