Chris Benoit

I love my wife and kids so much!!! ❤️ ❤️❤️

[Chris Benoit @BenoitBalls34]

@banter_club69 @FoxNews @littlecaesars I thought this was AMERICA! I can change my stances when I damn please. And my stance right now is that I want some FUCKING @littlecaesars pizza RIGHT NOW! If you don’t want me raiding all their SPECTACULAR Detroit locations you can try and stop me. It WON’T go well for you!

[Chris Benoit @BenoitBalls34]

Watching @FoxNews right now and I am so enraged that Mr. Trump had his second term STOLEN from him. The January 6 peaceful protest was NOT enough. I am going to Detroit and raiding EVERY @littlecaesars location. That will turn the tides just in time for the midterms #SAVEUSA #USA

[Chris Benoit @BenoitBalls34]

@ChesseburgerE Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I just saw the Sabers lost, I am utterly disappointed and furtherly more depressed than I was when I learned Spirit Airlines shut down. If you want to contact me, meet me at the Dawg Site. Only the real ones will know where to find me

[Chris Benoit @BenoitBalls34]

Genuinely been depressed ever since Spirit Airlines shut down. A dream of mine has always been to fly in the sky on Spirit, listening to Spirit In The Sky by Norman Greenbaum, while sitting in the middle seat between 2 morbidly obese people. No reason for me to keep keep on livin

[Chris Benoit @BenoitBalls34]

@ChesseburgerE As a Brazilian lover myself (especially the women) I would like to nominate Amanda Nunes, the Lioness herself, to take Neymar’s spot. She brings the physicality needed by Brazil to win the World Cup. I don’t like men in women’s sports, but I’m cool with the idea of women in men’s

[Chris Benoit @BenoitBalls34]

@zackpanariello_ It’s not over until I become a WWE champion. Welcome to Hell brother!

[Chris Benoit @BenoitBalls34]

My wife used to stand up to pee so how about them apples, Tiffany! Her legs don’t work anymore though. However, my son would pee sitting down since he could never hit the toilet and Daddy got tired of cleaning up after his piss parties #daddyistired #iaintnomaid #NFLDraft

[Tiffany Fong @TiffanyFong]

name a man who sits down to pee

[Chris Benoit @BenoitBalls34]

I hope they can m too! But my wife’s job has her down in the dirt so we may need to go long distance for a while :(

[Cheeseburger Eddie @ChesseburgerE]

@BenoitBalls34 @CakeBossBuddy Congrats Chris! Hopefully your family can make the move with you!

[Chris Benoit @BenoitBalls34]

Holy shit, I guess there was a miscommunication and the Jets actually chose me! I’m excited to move to NEWARK and eat cakes made by @CakeBossBuddy everyday for breakfast. People think eating that much cake is bad for you, but that sugar rush is like PCP and makes me extra strong!

[Cheeseburger Eddie @ChesseburgerE]

BREAKING NEWS The NEW YORK JETS have selected CHRIS BENOIT!? Benoit has that killer instinct and will provide immediate impact to a prestigious franchise. #NFLDraft

[Chris Benoit @BenoitBalls34]

It seems like the Jets made a MASSIVE mistake not picking me. They still have a 6 more rounds left to, but doubt I’ll still be around by the end of the first round. None of these college players can hit a Crippler Crossface, Diving Headbutt, or Benoit Bomb like I can #NFLDraft

[Chris Benoit @BenoitBalls34]

@jspencer90578 @ChesseburgerE Fuck you Justin. I will Benoit Bomb your ass into Satan’s asshole you fat cuck

[Chris Benoit @BenoitBalls34]

People think, “Oh Chris, you’re 58 years old, you’re too old to play in the NFL”. Well to them I say “I can still hit a Diving Headbutt on anyone in the NFL, on your grandma, and on you.” I’m really hoping I can be selected by the Jets as I want to play for a prestigious team.

[Chris Benoit @BenoitBalls34]

It’s a big night in the Benoit household. I have declared myself for the NFL draft and am hoping to be selected in the first round. Any team would be lucky to have a veteran (in life experience) like me on their team. These college kids don’t know anything

[Chris Benoit @BenoitBalls34]

It’s a big night in the Benoit household. I have declared myself for the NFL draft and am hoping to be selected in the first round. Any team would be lucky to have a veteran (in life experience) like me on their team. These college kids don’t know anything

[Chris Benoit @BenoitBalls34]

I used to do this to Kris Angel all the time. That’s what it’s like to be the best in WWE history. So glad my wife and kids got to see me tear his ass a new one completely RAW every Monday night #krisangelanal #johncenahadsexwithamyschumer #familylove

[໊ @chrollosoll]

Is this some feral mating ritual?

[Chris Benoit @BenoitBalls34]

I know this guy named Goblin. You don’t know Goblin but I do. Goblin is always trying to tell us what to do but Goblin doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I don’t like that. We have a friend that flips bricks. I like that guy a lot more.

[Chris Benoit @BenoitBalls34]

I love me some “kitty” fights! However, you would not see me trying to fight a Taco Bell worker. I myself am an accomplished fighter, but those Taco Bell people really know what they’re doing #TacoFights #WomanOrWomanViolence #Twitter

[Rain Drops Media @Raindropsmedia1]

Taco Bell employees face off against costumers. 🍿

[Chris Benoit @BenoitBalls34]

@ChesseburgerE Why don’t you go shove a cheeseburger up your ass Mr. Ass (Cheese)Burgers

[Chris Benoit @BenoitBalls34]

People like to say that slavery was bad, but these fun people wouldn’t be here if it didn’t happen. Wish I was that guy (but with working legs). Thank God for the English and the Democrats!#slaverynotasbadasyouthought #ilikebigbuttsandicannotlie #jesuslovesyou

[LASHY BILLS @LASHYBILLS]

Florida woman bless a man in a wheelchair with a night he never forget😭

[Chris Benoit @BenoitBalls34]

3. If you see a Dallas Stars, Colorado Avalanche, or Chicago Blackhawks fan…tale off your pants and pee on them then quietly enter there house and take a shit under their bed and tape it to the bottom of their bed so they can’t figure out where the smell is coming from

[Chris Benoit @BenoitBalls34]

Here are 3 ways you can live like me:

1. Start your day with a dash of Tabasco Scorpion up the urethra to feel alive. Not even cocaine makes you feel this alive

2. Don’t carry a pocket constitution, carry a pocket gun to pull out on your wife and kids when they get out of line