Jeremy Berney

I tweet hot fire

[Jeremy Berney @BerneyThoughts]

80% of cooking is knowing whether to use a red onion or a white onion.

[Jeremy Berney @BerneyThoughts]

@SunnyDelNegro @FLORI000 I could get my mans hooked up with the right stuff

[Jeremy Berney @BerneyThoughts]

People that skip over the Stranger Things opening credits are sociopaths.

[Alan Hahn @alanhahn]

Time to give this man credit for taking on the weight that no one else will take on.

[Jeremy Berney @BerneyThoughts]

@Mk_gee_ What time you hittin the stage tn?

[Jeremy Berney @BerneyThoughts]

Shoutout to tissue innovators that spent likely decades perfecting tissue technology. Finding that right balance between softness for sniffles and strength for sneezes couldn’t have been easy.

[Jeremy Berney @BerneyThoughts]

There’s no stronger feeling of security than when your Uber driver taking you to the airport is wearing leather driving gloves.

[Jeremy Berney @BerneyThoughts]

Berney Travel Trip: take Pepto preventively, not reactionarily.

[Jeremy Berney @BerneyThoughts]

Tokyo exclusively fucks with foam hand soap....I’m in heaven.

[Jeremy Berney @BerneyThoughts]

Sometimes I Sit and Think, and Sometimes I Just Sit and Sip a Sparkling Martinelli’s Apple Juice.

[Jeremy Berney @BerneyThoughts]

Why do salted nuts taste so much better when they’re amongst other salted nuts?

[Jeremy Berney @BerneyThoughts]

Foamy hand soap is far superior to all other hand soaps don’t @ me.

[Jeremy Berney @BerneyThoughts]

Never trust a man that pays for water at the gym.

[Jeremy Berney @BerneyThoughts]

@lewisofman Hey man what time are you hitting the stage tonight in LA?

[Jeremy Berney @BerneyThoughts]

The bottom of a well-made burrito is a magical place.

[Jeremy Berney @BerneyThoughts]

@jon_bap yoo what time are you hitting the stage tonight in LA?

[Jeremy Berney @BerneyThoughts]

@george_vdb Hey man what time are you hitting the stage tonight at @moroccan_lounge ?

[Jeremy Berney @BerneyThoughts]

@VidiotsShow Ryan Reynolds’ Woodcock @Phantom_Thread

[Jeremy Berney @BerneyThoughts]

@andiinadomi I think I knew at some point but very glad you reminded me.

[Jeremy Berney @BerneyThoughts]

One of the most shocking things about riding in Ubers is discovering how many drivers are perfectly content driving around in silence, listening to nothing at all.