Albert Olszewski

I like to fly kites and brush my teeth. My best friend is my pet bear because he gives me the best hugs.

[Albert Olszewski @BertOlszewski]

Changed my wallet pocket and it’s putting my walking form into a serious tizzy

[Albert Olszewski @BertOlszewski]

@dunkindonuts I wrote you a ballad.
https://t.co/bQHvChCW8Y

#daddybert #donuts

[Albert Olszewski @BertOlszewski]

#DontArrestMe but I just accidentally left my phone off airplane mode for an entire flight and we didn’t crash. Counting my blessings

[Albert Olszewski @BertOlszewski]

Bout to go face first into this turkey and disappoint the hell out of it.

[Albert Olszewski @BertOlszewski]

@YaBoyyChad @LollaPrediction @m_hall27 Unreal lineup

[Albert Olszewski @BertOlszewski]

@YaBoyyChad I feel so unwoke. I don’t even know what day of the week leg day is #LostBoy

[Albert Olszewski @BertOlszewski]

@YaBoyyChad The more I drink, the smaller my calves look.

[Albert Olszewski @BertOlszewski]

Haters gonna hate, but I though #Suburbicon was actually good.

[Albert Olszewski @BertOlszewski]

@realDonaldTrump If I used the term “commonly agreed” without any citations, my advisor would lose his lunch #gradschool

[Albert Olszewski @BertOlszewski]

When you kiss someone, you kiss everyone they kiss... in a way we are all bi
#bewareofthemouthherps

[Pope Francis – ARCHIVE @Pontifex266Arch]

May artists spread the beauty of the faith and proclaim the grandeur of God’s creation and His boundless love for all.

[Albert Olszewski @BertOlszewski]

I’ve got my groutfit on. Don’t @ me
#greyongreyongrey #sworts

[Albert Olszewski @BertOlszewski]

@rydenmeyer I disagree with you. But I value your opinion and our friendship.

[Albert Olszewski @BertOlszewski]

Dogs are all like, “I should probably play fetch with the human. I haven’t seen him get any exercise all day.”

[Albert Olszewski @BertOlszewski]

Oatmeal is the hardest food to cook. Shits always runny

[Albert Olszewski @BertOlszewski]

Give Pluto the rights that other planets have.

#planetstatus #neverforget

[Albert Olszewski @BertOlszewski]

I’d like to publicly apologize for the way that I’ve treated my white vans. You don’t deserve that.
#VANS

[Albert Olszewski @BertOlszewski]

I drew the dicks! #AmericanVandal

[Albert Olszewski @BertOlszewski]

@rydenmeyer Baby fart is a revolution

[Albert Olszewski @BertOlszewski]

I just accidentally put a plastic bottle in an aluminum recycle bin. I don't know if it matters but I genuinely feel guilty.