mostly charmless

19 / f / CA

[mostly charmless @Bigchipsnodip]

Oprah Losefrey comes out and says "YOUR car is getting towed. YOUR car is getting towed. Everyone's car is getting towed!"

[mostly charmless @Bigchipsnodip]

Thank you God for giving me the opportunity to grind

[mostly charmless @Bigchipsnodip]

I feel like the cynicism of the internet is tiresome, both spiritually and mentally. I can no longer continue to engage in this. I will be moving to real-world cynicism instead

[mostly charmless @Bigchipsnodip]

The only thing about this country that has improved since the 90s is that dogs don’t bark at you as much as they used to

[mostly charmless @Bigchipsnodip]

An important part of self-growth is realizing which parts of your personality may be grating or aggravating towards other people and then choosing to ignore anyone who shows signs of also noticing this

[mostly charmless @Bigchipsnodip]

They can take your 401k.
They can take your Social Security
They can take your right to say slightly insensitive things about the current political climate

They can never take Seasons 1-4 of Game of Thrones

[mostly charmless @Bigchipsnodip]

When someone schedules themselves an interview with me at 9am it’s basically telling me that they want me to hate them from the get go

[mostly charmless @Bigchipsnodip]

If I was on a company's Marketing team, I would suggest that our CEO should off-himself while on a livestream. We would create so many impressions.

[mostly charmless @Bigchipsnodip]

I’m big into counterculture, so I’m actually going to suggest that everyone turn their location on while using instagram

[mostly charmless @Bigchipsnodip]

The FBI agent who monitors all of my communication has just informed me that he would like me to clarify to everyone that he is actually an NSA agent, and that he can't stand those FBI pencil-necked geeks

[mostly charmless @Bigchipsnodip]

When you're a baby, they take your foreskin.
When you're a teen, they take your videogames.
When you're an adult, they take your hairline.

And you're surprised that men are angry???

[mostly charmless @Bigchipsnodip]

“i asked chatgpt” “i asked grok” well I asked my boss for a raise and he said that he had no idea that he had such a money hungry little twerp in his employ and that I should leave his office immediately

[mostly charmless @Bigchipsnodip]

They don't tell you this, but Ozempic is actually just the name of the little elf they assign you that sits on your shoulder all day and swats food out of your mouth

[mostly charmless @Bigchipsnodip]

I have decided that evolution is fake because what are the survival benefits of being 1/16th a Venus Fly Trap? It doesn’t make any sense.

I will not be investigating this any further or putting any more thought into this

[mostly charmless @Bigchipsnodip]

>make minimalist cafe filled with nothing but hard surfaces and sharp edges
>it’s the noisiest patch of 2000 sq feet on the planet earth
> ???

[mostly charmless @Bigchipsnodip]

Death Stranding is only popular because it appeals to the sick male fantasy of going out of your way to do something nice for someone and having them notice and express genuine gratitude

[mostly charmless @Bigchipsnodip]

lazoboomafoo

[mostly charmless @Bigchipsnodip]

The only good scene in Movie history is actually the Expectations vs. Reality scene in 500 Days of Summer. Everything else is a poor attempt to even glimpse at attempting the pure magic of cinema displayed in those 183 seconds. Yes, even preemptively.

[mostly charmless @Bigchipsnodip]

"Closed for a private event" How about I give you a closed casket funeral??

[mostly charmless @Bigchipsnodip]

I think a business having a non ads-free music subscription playing in their establishment should be the most severe Health violation possible