Big Girl

Ambitious City Girl.❤️🤍⚡️

[Keshvibez @keshvibezTV]

I called her back. She picked up on the first ring and was laughing so hard she couldn't speak.
"You REALLY didn't know?"
She had told me in person too, at brunch in September. Apparently I said "love that for you" and kept eating my pancakes.
Then she said, "Did you check the fridge?"
There was a note under a magnet, behind a stack of takeout menus. It said:
"Left you the good frying pan. You always stole it anyway. Love you. Answer your texts."
So that's where I am. I'm sitting on the floor of a very echoey apartment, eating cereal out of the good frying pan.
I unmuted every chat I own. It's been 4 days and I have 212 unread messages.

[Keshvibez @keshvibezTV]

So I opened our roommate group chat, which I had muted in March after a fight about the dishwasher. 41 unread messages.
"Heads up, moving out on the 15th."
"Movers are coming Tuesday, please get your stuff off the couch."
"Hello???"
"I'm taking the couch btw, I bought it."
The last one was a photo of the empty apartment with the caption "Last chance to say something."
Her bed frame had also been taken apart in the hallway for a full week. I stepped over it daily and said "wow, cluttered week."

[Keshvibez @keshvibezTV]

I came home from work on Thursday and the couch was gone. Not moved, gone. The TV stand, the rug and the lamp were gone too.
I stood in the doorway holding my keys and said "hello?" to an empty living room.
I decided we'd been robbed. They were the politest robbers in history, because they took the dish rack and left every dish stacked neatly on the counter.
I called my roommate Dani and it went straight to voicemail. So I called our landlord and said, "I think we've been robbed."
He was quiet for a second. Then he said, "Oh. Did Dani not tell you?"
I said, "Tell me what?"

[Keshvibez @keshvibezTV]

…so I plugged it in.
The screen lit up. People applauded. The CEO shook my hand and said, "I don't know what we'd do without you."
Two weeks later I got my review. Raise: 0%. Under "Key Strengths" my manager had typed "Technical expertise."
I quit eight months later. In my exit interview, HR asked what the company could have done better. I said, "Plug in the cable."
Gerald signed my farewell card. It said, "Who's going to fix the internet now?"
Lesson: never fix the printer in week one.

[Keshvibez @keshvibezTV]

I walked into a boardroom with eight executives in suits and a screen that said "No Signal."
They all turned to look at me at the same time. The CEO said, "Please tell me you can fix this."
I work in marketing. I wanted to say that. Instead I got on my knees under the table with my phone flashlight while the whole leadership team watched me from above. I pressed every button on that remote like I was defusing a bomb.
Then I saw the HDMI cable lying on the floor, still in its plastic. It had never been plugged in…

[Keshvibez @keshvibezTV]

..two years.
By month two I was getting calls about everything. Wi-Fi. Passwords. A man named Gerald, 61, who told me, "The internet is gone." His browser was just minimized. I clicked once. He called me a genius and told the CEO.
I had no title, no training, no raise. Somebody stuck a Post-it on my monitor as a joke. It said "ASK HER." Nobody ever took it down.
Then came the Monday of the big client pitch. At 8:55 AM, my phone rang. "The projector is dead. Please come. Now."

[Keshvibez @keshvibezTV]

I started my first job at 22. I was the youngest person in the office by 14 years.
In my first week, the printer jammed and everyone stood around it like it was a patient. I opened the tray, pulled out one crumpled page and closed it.
Dead silence. My manager looked at me like I'd just performed surgery. "She's good with technology," he told the room.
I was good at opening a tray. That one sentence followed me for…

[Keshvibez @keshvibezTV]

I told our manager that afternoon. She was silent for a moment, then asked, "Why didn't he just ask for a schedule change?"
The next morning, Daniel's start time was officially moved to 8:30. HR sent a one-line email. That was it.
He read it twice and said, "Oh. That was allowed?"
Four months of getting written up, and nobody had asked him a single question.
Last Friday the boy's mom came to the office with a box of cupcakes and a card drawn in crayon. Daniel took one look at it and hid in the supply closet for ten minutes.

[Keshvibez @keshvibezTV]

I found him at the coffee machine and just asked. He went quiet for a second and said the boy is his neighbor's son. His mom works night shifts at the hospital and doesn't get home until 8:15. The bus leaves at 7:45.
"She asked me once if I could wait with him until the bus came. I said yes. That was four months ago."
I asked why he never told anyone. He shrugged. "Because it sounds like an excuse."

[Keshvibez @keshvibezTV]

I pulled over. I wasn't trying to be nosy, but I watched for a minute. He was helping the kid with a spelling worksheet. Then he pulled a banana out of his bag and said, "Eat. No negotiations."
The school bus came. The kid hugged his leg. Daniel waved until the bus turned the corner, looked at his watch, and winced.
I sat there in my car feeling like the worst person alive, because I had been in the room when people called him lazy.

[Keshvibez @keshvibezTV]

My coworker Daniel kept coming in 25 minutes late. Every day, for almost four months. No excuse, no story, just "sorry, traffic" with a completely straight face.
Our manager started writing it down. HR got a mention. Someone on our team said he obviously didn't care about the job anymore, and honestly, I started to believe it.
Then last Tuesday I had an early client visit across town, and on the way I drove past a bus stop and saw…

[𝓥𝓲𝓫𝓮𝓼𝓞𝓷𝓣𝓪𝓹 @VibesOnTap_]

the receptionist at my mother's care home called to ask why i'd been visiting room 12 every sunday. i told her my mother was in room 21, and i hadn't visited in two weeks.

she checked the logbook. someone had signed my full name, used my phone number, and left with a small brown envelope each time. the strange part was that room 12 had been empty since its occupant died three months earlier.

i asked to see the visitor's photograph. when the receptionist showed me the security footage, i recognized the person immediately: my mother's doctor.

then the receptionist whispered, “he asked us not to tell you that your mother has been paying for those visits.”

[Keshvibez @keshvibezTV]

i walked into her room and played it at full volume. she watched it in total silence, then slowly looked down at her own sheets. there was frosting on them.
she apologized for two straight days. then she handed me a padlock for the fridge and said, "you keep the key. do not give it to me even if i beg."
it's been three weeks. she has begged twice. i have never felt so powerful.

[Keshvibez @keshvibezTV]

..so i set my old phone on the shelf one night to record the kitchen and prove my innocence.
next morning i opened the video. 2:47am. my roommate walks in with her eyes completely closed, opens the fridge, takes out the cake container, and eats the whole thing standing up in the dark.
then she looks straight at the camera, whispers "not me," and goes back to bed.

[Keshvibez @keshvibezTV]

My roommate accused me of eating her food for two months. her labeled leftovers, her protein bars, even a slice of her birthday cake. she taped a note on the fridge that said "i know it's you" and stopped talking to me.
i swore on everything i wasn't touching her stuff. she moved all her food into her room and gave me the look you give someone who lies to your face. i was being gaslit over cake i never ate...

[Keshvibez @keshvibezTV]

There’s nothing quite like watching someone completely hijack a normal conversation just to turn it into an unhinged stand up routine.

Sebastian coming in hot with the physical comedy while explaining how a bad knot means your boat is history is peak chaotic energy.

Honestly, the way he acts out getting his hand stuck during a game of Twister is worth the watch alone.

[Keshvibez @keshvibezTV]

last year i went back to visit and asked the old teacher about the rule. she opened a drawer and pulled out a tattered notebook.
the greeting was never about manners. mr. boateng saw 900 kids walk past him every single day. the ones who suddenly went quiet were the ones he wrote down. the teacher took those names to the staff room every Friday.
my name was on page 14, and next to it, in his handwriting: "talks to nobody now. check on him."
i cried in the staff room for 20 minutes.
then she said, "he retired in June. he asked me to tell you to say good morning to someone tomorrow."

[Keshvibez @keshvibezTV]

…in 11th grade my dad lost his job and i stopped talking to everyone. i walked past the gate every morning with my head down. mr. boateng didn't make me go back. he just said, "we'll try again tomorrow."
the next week my school fees were "cleared due to an administrative error." i got a lunch voucher nobody else seemed to have. and a counselor kept "randomly" stopping me in the hallway.
i thought i was just lucky.

[Keshvibez @keshvibezTV]

There was one rule in my school nobody understood until years later: every student had to say "good morning" to the caretaker, Mr. Boateng, at the gate. by name. if you walked past without greeting him, you got sent back to do it again in front of everyone.
we thought it was the dumbest rule ever. kids got detention over it. one teacher even stood next to him with a clipboard.
years later, i finally found out what the clipboard was for...

[Keshvibez @keshvibezTV]

i said yes. he looked at the floor, smiled, and said, "that's my father."
turns out Mr. Adjei had retired from a long career and took that janitor job on purpose. he'd told the school board, "you learn everything about a person by how they treat someone who can do nothing for them." the greeting rule was his idea. there was no detention budget, he just wanted to see which kids would say it when no one was watching.
the CEO shook my hand and said, "my father's detention system just got you hired."
i got the offer email the next morning. i called Mr. Adjei that weekend to say thank you. he said, "who is this?"
then he laughed and said, "good morning, Ohemaa."