Jack Phillips

JMU grad | Scientist of Computers | Brogrammer

[Jack Phillips @BigJackPhillips]

Friendly reminder: Taco Bell is giving away AM Crunch Wraps today

[Jack Phillips @BigJackPhillips]

Remember that one time Bartolo Colón ate 5 baseballs at the Mets tryout?

[Jack Phillips @BigJackPhillips]

The amount of cash only restaurants in Arlington is insane and I know I'm just helping to launder a large amount of money

[Jack Phillips @BigJackPhillips]

Beyond stoked to see Catfish and the Bottlemen tonight

[Jack Phillips @BigJackPhillips]

Saw an Interstate truck this morning on the way to my air conditioned job and couldn't help but smile #DontMissTheHumpStrap

[Jack Phillips @BigJackPhillips]

Interpol tonight and heading to the beach the rest of the week aka nothing productive is happening in the office today

[Jack Phillips @BigJackPhillips]

102 hours this pay period with no overtime makes me wanna collapse my projects hypothetical face into the back of its head

[Jack Phillips @BigJackPhillips]

Can you just call me Landfill?

[Jack Phillips @BigJackPhillips]

Only in NYC you can deny a homeless person, hat dealer, monk, Broadway ticket salesman and mime money on a single street corner

[Jack Phillips @BigJackPhillips]

Awesome night with my main squeeze https://t.co/G8QA3SXWUp

[Jack Phillips @BigJackPhillips]

After just breaking into my house I realize I could never make it as a burglar.. Maybe hamburgling but that's about it

[Jack Phillips @BigJackPhillips]

Everyone on the metro put yo pitty ass hands in the air #NoAC

[Jack Phillips @BigJackPhillips]

CAPS LETS GO!

[Jack Phillips @BigJackPhillips]

The amount of times I've been cut off by Maryland drivers is ridiculous. Learn to drive or crab walk back to your weird looking flags state

[Jack Phillips @BigJackPhillips]

Nothing like getting caught by the VP of your sector cranking Riff Raff at work #IcebergSimpson

[Jack Phillips @BigJackPhillips]

Getting a new iPad Air for my referrals at work #whatsgoodies

[Jack Phillips @BigJackPhillips]

Pretty shitty dress if you can't even tell what color it is. Eating a chair would be more productive than examining this thing any further.

[Jack Phillips @BigJackPhillips]

Coffee flavored donut with a donut flavored coffee #FuckingPsychopath

[Jack Phillips @BigJackPhillips]

Apparently my Bolivian landlord is a big proponent of the stop snitching movement and refuses to talk to my clearance investigator #OG

[Jack Phillips @BigJackPhillips]

I don't know whether to apologize to you or roll you in panko bread crumbs and put you in the oven but I know one thing you sure are stupid