BTPD

“Let's make the car a place of silent reflection from now on.”

[BTPD @BigTownPD]

My job is 10% cool shit and 90% telling adults to go to bed.

[BTPD @BigTownPD]

@callielomein Ejecto seato cuz

[BTPD @BigTownPD]

My hamstrings are chasing one more 17 year old away from completely throwing in the towel

[BTPD @BigTownPD]

“Bad bitches made their MySpace song Paper Planes”

“..How old are you?”

[BTPD @BigTownPD]

It’s been 10 years and my boss still hasn’t asked me to go under cover to infiltrate an underground street racing crew that is stealing large quantities of VCRs… so I’m thinking i might’ve made a mistake

[BTPD @BigTownPD]

@Rose104Blue I had this CD in the 6 disk cartridge of my first car….

[BTPD @BigTownPD]

This album is now 24 years old. Hope everyone else feels just as shitty about it as I do

[BTPD @BigTownPD]

Please don’t let it watch John Wick. Please.

[Zac @PotentProzac]

University of Cambridge, researchers taught an AI-programmed robot to use its machine brain to make salads on its own, after being taught by instructional videos.

“We wanted to see whether we could train a robot chef to learn in the same incremental way that humans can"

[BTPD @BigTownPD]

Convos at work vol 1

Coworker 1: I got punched in the face at an Andrew WK concert once.

Coworker 2: You look like someone who’d get punched in the face at an Andrew WK concert.

Coworker 3: If I didn’t know you and I saw you at an Andrew WK concert I’d punch you in the face.

[BTPD @BigTownPD]

LT: ( to roll call) the commander is still saying no to beards for now. He doesn’t know if that policy will change anytime soon.

Me: well that’s not very punk rock of him.

LT: … i will be sure to let him know that

[BTPD @BigTownPD]

“I’ve been mircodosing trauma for 10 years and you expect me not to say something fucked up at dinner with your friends?”

[BTPD @BigTownPD]

This is important.

[Matt Taibbi @mtaibbi]

1. Thread: THE TWITTER FILES

[BTPD @BigTownPD]

The fire dept the second someone at a scene is a little mean to them and PD isn’t there yet.

[BTPD @BigTownPD]

Well thank god

[Mona Charen @monacharen]

Other than murder, violent crime is not up. Did you know that? Violent crime is a key midterm voting issue, but what does the data say? https://t.co/nGXbrm9C8j

[BTPD @BigTownPD]

Watching a large amount of our new guys leave my department to work down south is sad.

But if i was in their situation i would also be gone. Be free young ones. Never forget the shithole you came from.

[BTPD @BigTownPD]

There’s no way that the first guy who figured out how to tie a tie wasn’t trying to kill himself and accidentally stumbled upon the standard for mens formal wear

[BTPD @BigTownPD]

I somehow managed to break pretty much every component of the new explorer given to me in about a year.

Most of it was definitely my fault.

[BTPD @BigTownPD]

👀

[Justin Fenton @justin_fenton]

New: The Baltimore man who has painted hundreds of “No Shoot Zones” on sidewalks and buildings around the city was shot this morning in East Baltimore. Police say he is in serious condition..

[BTPD @BigTownPD]

I just ended a work email with “H.A.G.S.” So there’s that