Bill Kroger

My first words were I didn't do it.

[Bill Kroger @Bill_Kroger]

Hardest nerds u know shootin' in these streets. Coming soon to a slum near you! @ Arts District,… https://t.co/a5b2vBtP99

[Bill Kroger @Bill_Kroger]

If I'm elected as your president, on my first day in office I will legalize ranch!

[Bill Kroger @Bill_Kroger]

Good times shooting this promo for Have a Drink With Me, a comedy special every Sunday in July… https://t.co/HgHzwLZUFy

[Bill Kroger @Bill_Kroger]

Shiiiit just coming out of a blackout. Who won the game last night?

[Bill Kroger @Bill_Kroger]

@TimSkells called and said he was going to the store for beer n' toilet paper. He's gonna drink until he shits himself! #CasualFridays

[Bill Kroger @Bill_Kroger]

I registered as a Democrat by the deadline, chose to vote at the polling station rather than by… https://t.co/F1pgygfkDU

[Bill Kroger @Bill_Kroger]

Only A$AP Rocky can sound gangster rapping about eating crepes. #yamborghinihigh @AsapActivities

[Bill Kroger @Bill_Kroger]

Keep calm and get a new fucking shirt you asshole.

[Bill Kroger @Bill_Kroger]

What if the term flossing was introduced to the rap/hip-hop community by the dental hygiene industry to sell a product?

[Bill Kroger @Bill_Kroger]

A city built on tacos is delicious but unstructurally sound

[Bill Kroger @Bill_Kroger]

If you're having a bad day just remember some people are born into the Westboro Baptist Church

[Bill Kroger @Bill_Kroger]

@banejane good times but I think it's spelled buffoon just in case you're using it over the Internet or in writing or in a scholarly journal

[Bill Kroger @Bill_Kroger]

Now that I pay for my own dental work that time I had 12 cavities at once doesn't seem so funny anymore. #sorrydad

[Bill Kroger @Bill_Kroger]

Dave Bowey, Prinse, who's next... Bob Marley?!? Sheesh

[Bill Kroger @Bill_Kroger]

Man I always loved watching Prince on The Price is Right. #RIPPrince

[Bill Kroger @Bill_Kroger]

I just thought I would reward myself for finishing this green smoothie with a beer. Is that flawed logic?

[Bill Kroger @Bill_Kroger]

Been home alone for a week now so I started taking to my Buddha statuette. Dude is kind of a dick, esp. given that he's a MINI statue.

[Bill Kroger @Bill_Kroger]

Just joined the IBTC (Itty Bitty Twitty Committee). Their first memo demanded tiny tweets, so naturally it's back to jokes about my dick.

[Bill Kroger @Bill_Kroger]

Guys who don't eat their pizza crust are probably the same guys that don't eat out their girlfriends.

[Bill Kroger @Bill_Kroger]

True Romance is indubitably the best movie of all time