Bill Napier

Head ranger of Pohutukawa Park. Separated husband and father of two (Flora and Fauna.)

[Bill Napier @Billtheranger]

The sea plane's touched down.
Time to get ready for tonight's show!

[Bill Napier @Billtheranger]

I've turned it down. I don't want to get myself into a prickly situation. Instead I'll be on stage at the @LargoLosAngeles with Rhys and co.

[Bill Napier @Billtheranger]

I've been asked to give a lecture on bush maintenance at the Lesbians League of America pageant tomorrow night.

[Bill Napier @Billtheranger]

Jason and I would win gold in mens synchronised mowing.

[Bill Napier @Billtheranger]

When are they gonna make ride-on mowing an Olympic sport? Surely that would push the Kiwis up the medal table!

[Bill Napier @Billtheranger]

If there's one thing I've learnt over the years it's...
... no I've got nothing.

[Bill Napier @Billtheranger]

Hello everyone. I found my phone!
It was on the kitchen bench all along. Bloody Jason was right. I'm beginning to think he's a genius.

[Paul Terry @Cellarscape]

.@Billtheranger would've loved to help Mulder tape off the forest and return a rare lizard to its natural habitat.
@rhysiedarby #TheXFiles

[Bill Napier @Billtheranger]

You can trust me, we're as safe as houses... https://t.co/ZXxQIC4v9R

[Bill Napier @Billtheranger]

“@lynajafokyh: @Billtheranger Increase your business reach to new dimensions - 40% discount..."
- will i find my father in another realm?

[Bill Napier @Billtheranger]

You'll be pleased to know I've found the office key. Unfortunately tho.. now the actual office has gone missing.

[Bill Napier @Billtheranger]

Pls if you call the office, don't leave a message. The tape is full and we can't find the key to the office. Actually don't call the office.

[Bill Napier @Billtheranger]

We always welcome advice here at the park. Please feel free to voice all your suggestions to the brick wall behind the toilet block.

[Bill Napier @Billtheranger]

“@TobyHumby: Bloody great read @Billtheranger can't wait for the rest of the series!!”

My nemesis wrote that!

[Bill Napier @Billtheranger]

"Hey Ballbags!"
Yes I'm talking to you in the tog undies...
This isn't a private beach mate. Some of us come here to relax our eyes..

[Bill Napier @Billtheranger]

Argh damn it. The wind changed just as I was eating a banana.. Now my my face is fucked.

[Bill Napier @Billtheranger]

It's that time of year again...
It takes my rangers two weeks to decorate every tree in the park but it's worth it for all the presents.

[Bill Napier @Billtheranger]

Yes, the gate is actually a ride for kids. That's why we put it there...

[Bill Napier @Billtheranger]

I'm more of a muff diver myself. Got fairly deep in Hamilton once..

[Bill Napier @Billtheranger]

Yes I am aware a spider has been spotted at the park. Already steps ahead of you. We've installed a drain spout and are now awaiting rain..