Doug

(generic information about myself.)

[Doug @BirdAttorney]

Seffner: where you can watch someone smoke a cigarette while pumping gas. And the smoker also happens to be a pregnant woman.

[Doug @BirdAttorney]

How long do you think it'll take before someone makes a psychological thriller/horror movie about the billionaire sub?

[Doug @BirdAttorney]

Could someone for the love of God please just remake guitar hero 3? Exactly the way it was, no weird new guitar, or microtransactions. Just music that sounds slightly like it was recorded in a tin can and a clackity guitar controller. Thanks in advance

[Doug @BirdAttorney]

To the man who just spent 10 minutes quietly moaning at the urinal, see a fucking doctor! I'm trying to poop, not listen to you take the world's weirdest piss!

[Doug @BirdAttorney]

You think film industries will ever figure out that they should make dialogue louder and explosions more quiet?

[Doug @BirdAttorney]

Netflix and YouTube need to figure out how to show me new things and not just recommend the same 20 videos but spread out into 50 different categories.

[Doug @BirdAttorney]

Keep seeing dumb Google News articles about "movie that bombed in the box office is killing it on Netflix." no shit, people will watch bad movies for free, but don't want to pay to see it in theaters. Doesn't make the movie any less shit.

[Doug @BirdAttorney]

@cungryhunt I thought I read somewhere that the peloton doesn't even let you use it if you don't pay the fee. Could be wrong, but either way all that's stuff seems dumb as shit. Get a regular exercise bike and youtube some classes or just ya know, ride the fucking bike.

[Doug @BirdAttorney]

I've never understood why anyone would buy exercise equipment that has a monthly fee like peloton or those mirrors that have workouts built into them. You can google/youtube thousands of different workouts, why not just buy regular equipment and then look up workouts online?

[Doug @BirdAttorney]

Odd coincidence that super smash announces it's done doing dlc, then out of nowhere smash-clones start popping up out of the woodwork.

[Doug @BirdAttorney]

I miss when directors would just release their directors cuts as bonuses in the dvd instead of bitching on the internet and then having their fans talk as if the director cut was gonna turn your movie from a turd into Citizen Kane.

[Doug @BirdAttorney]

Facebook makes me hate people I used to think were chill and relatively smart.

[UberFacts @UberFacts]

PETA euthanizes roughly 70% of the animals they take in

[Doug @BirdAttorney]

@MrKingNewJersey

[Doug @BirdAttorney]

@SnoopyG7 Touche, but I don't think jumping really changes the fight much either.

[Doug @BirdAttorney]

My hotel TV is stuck on this channel and it's playing this shit? Do people genuinely think this is funny? I've seen bad VH1 shows with better humor than this. #WhenNatureCalls

[Doug @BirdAttorney]

I'm worried about the people going to theaters to see Fast and Furious 9: This Ones Fast But My Family is Furious. Or whatever the fuck it's title is by now. Like do people actually like those movies still or is it some weird brainwashing thing I've avoided?

[Doug @BirdAttorney]

I wish franchises like transformers or Godzilla/kong would just stop trying to have a human story. Like millie browns entire existence in Godzilla vs. Kong added absolutely nothing to the story except expo-dump. Same with any of the humans in transformers movies.

[Doug @BirdAttorney]

I wanna make an anime where the evil guys show up, beat the heros, the heros gain some new power that let's them beat win, this repeats for like 5-6 seasons, then a newer more evil guy shows up, the heros gain a new power, then the bad guy wins anyways and then we end the show.