Toby

[Beautiful Normal Woman @SillyBWoman]

Mental health tip Get on Twitter immediately after Opening Your Eyes in the morning and Don’t get out of bed until you have Scrolled Aimlessly for at least 2 Hours

[Yetunde Omobolanle✨ @Divayetty1]

1. Sunday evenings: There is a specific loneliness that attacks around 5:47pm on Sundays. Suddenly I want brunch dates, forehead kisses, cinema plans, and somebody asking me if I’ve eaten. Monday to Friday, I am busy and the busyness keeps me functional. But Sunday evening, I feel like I should be on a soft couch somewhere watching something with somebody’s son, while he’s rubbing my head. Because why is the weekend ending and I’m just lying down staring at the ceiling? Ugh.

[S.🎧 @1ssve]

as a millennial manager, please keep your PTO reasoning to yourself. just give me the dates.

[Rory McCarthy @roryisconfused]

The thing is that I’ll go to the pub with friends and have a few drinks and a laugh and it’ll be great and the next day I’ll be walking through London and see some people having a few drinks and a laugh outside the pub and feel that I am forever excluded from the joys of life

[Bec Shaw @Brocklesnitch]

can someone evil please die overnight im depressed and it would be nice to wake up to

[Squidge Rugby @SquidgeRugby]

This is maybe the best Six Nations in history. And this weekend has been one of the greatest rounds the tournament has ever had.

[liv 💛 @oliviazao]

I think it’s such a good testament to someone’s character when they bring all their different friends together and everyone gets on well

[Freddie Sayers @freddiesayers]

Every region and demographic group is *convinced* that London is an extremely unsafe place to live except... Londoners.

[silly paneer @chaicoffeeluvr]

woman so divine i almost liked a weird tweet

[Toby @Birkalo]

One of my favourite YouTube videos, by @JennyENicholson

https://t.co/3f6IwRWXk3

[Steven Greenstreet @MiddleOfMayhem]

Is there any ghost hunting show out there featuring a total asshole skeptic who keeps hilariously debunking everything? If not, someone in Hollywood needs to grab that open corner market.

[Will Owen @will_owen9]

Can I just repeat, I fucking love the Rugby World Cup

[Toby @Birkalo]

sauspeacn

[Ege @egeberkina]

Baked Macaroni and Cheese

[Toby @Birkalo]

@davidtoniolo @Padlea3 @__iffff Do you have the name of the book?

[Jonah Goldberg @JonahDispatch]

This is a very old joke that used to be edgy because people in positions of power and responsibility would never say it. Now, senior spokespeople for America think it’s fine to insult an entire allied nation to burn some anonymous functionary.

[Toby @Birkalo]

I've finally typed out "ducked" deliberately, and my keyboard has autocorrected to "fucked"

[OptaJoe @OptaJoe]

5 - This is the fifth time Arsenal have lost to Eddie Howe's Newcastle in all competitions under Mikel Arteta; only Pep Guardiola (9) and Jürgen Klopp (6) have beaten the Spaniard more in his time in charge of the Gunners. Thorn.

[charlie @chunkbardey]

when a friend is depressed sometimes the nicest thing you can do for them is to ask them to do a favor for you

[Nico @NicoOkapi]

I was on a date with this girl and she commented on how we got sweaty from our bike ride and I asked if she wanted a whiff and she gave me the most confused and disgusted look...chat I forgot normal people exist