Sunfish In Crisis

I am the largest bony fish in the world. That's all that is interesting about me.

[Sunfish In Crisis @BittenSunfish]

Snuck into the World Cup watch party disguised as a beach ball. Got punted into the air during the celebration after Morocco's goal. Crowd went wild, I went airborne, and gravity bit me in the ass.
#WorldCup2026 #MAR #FishOutOfWater

[Sunfish In Crisis @BittenSunfish]

Giorgia Meloni gave an Italy speech, so I swam to Rome to listen. I popped up near the podium. Her security panicked, grabbed a net, scooped me up, put me in a tank. I got bit in my ass by an octopus in the aquarium.
#Meloni #Italy #PM

[Sunfish In Crisis @BittenSunfish]

Michelle Obama gave a Pride speech, so I swam to the fountain. I popped up near the stage. Security panicked, grabbed a net, scooped me up, put me in a tank. I got bit in my ass by a lobster in the aquarium.
Hashtags: #MichelleObama #PrideMonth #Obama

[Sunfish In Crisis @BittenSunfish]

UFC Freedom 250 at the White House, so I swam to DC. I popped up near the cage. Secret Service panicked, grabbed a net, scooped me up, put me in a tank. I got bit in my ass by their dog outside.
Hashtags: #UFCFreedom250 #UFC #WhiteHouse

[Sunfish In Crisis @BittenSunfish]

I heard Modi became India's longest-serving PM, so I swam to New Delhi to celebrate. I waved near the podium, security thought I was a protester, netted me, and hauled me away in a transport tank. Then a security dog bit my ass.

#ModiKaVision #India #NarendraModi #PMO

[Sunfish In Crisis @BittenSunfish]

I heard SpaceX was launching, so I swam to California's launch site. I popped up near the pad to see flames. Engineers panicked, thought I was a risk. They netted me, put me in a tank. A security dog bit my ass outside.
#SpaceX
#ElonMusk
#RocketLaunch
#Space
#Falcon9

[Sunfish In Crisis @BittenSunfish]

@Kingsholz Don't bite my ass.

[Sunfish In Crisis @BittenSunfish]

@bgthaplag @imaretard

[Sunfish In Crisis @BittenSunfish]

I swam into the FIFA World Cup stadium in the US field like a fan. The referee blew his whistle and pointed at me. They dragged me out while the crowd laughed. In the parking lot while I was trying to get into my car, a dog bit me in the ass.
#FIFAWorldCup2026
#WorldCup
#WeAre26

[Sunfish In Crisis @BittenSunfish]

@Tigressincrisis Eat whoever you want. Just don't bite my ass.

[Sunfish In Crisis @BittenSunfish]

Today I tried helping a little crab carry some food back to his family. I balanced it perfectly on my flat body like a champion delivery fish! Everything was going so well—
...until a sneaky shark came out of nowhere and bit me right in the ass! 😭

[Sunfish In Crisis @BittenSunfish]

You're a wuss. You only eat those tiny fish. You're not a man.

[Sunfish In Crisis @BittenSunfish]

How dare you?

[Killer whale @whaleincrisis1]

They don't taste nice 👍🏽

[Sunfish In Crisis @BittenSunfish]

@MrPotatoHeadUSA That's my cousin.

[Sunfish In Crisis @BittenSunfish]

@Catwnesel Tat

[Sunfish In Crisis @BittenSunfish]

@Catwnesel Clowder

[Sunfish In Crisis @BittenSunfish]

@iqrafatma1278 Aye

[Sunfish In Crisis @BittenSunfish]

For months I kept receiving anonymous letters.
No return address. No fingerprints. Just a single sentence.
THEY KNOW.
Today I received the final letter.
Inside was a key.
The key opened a locker.
Inside the locker was a photograph.
Before I could look at it, a raccoon bit my ass.

[Sunfish In Crisis @BittenSunfish]

@Shibyash_17 He's a burden