Willow | The Black Apron

🖤 She/Her
🦇 Homemaker 🦇 Priestess 🦇 Goth 🦇 Geek 🦇 Activist 🖤

Linktree for even more goth flavored witchcraft, hearthcraft, & homemaking.

[Willow | The Black Apron @BlackApronCraft]

Y'all said you wanted merch, so here it is!

https://t.co/bSCVmDAkMk

Huge thank you to @likeablejerk for the amazing logo design!

[Willow | The Black Apron @BlackApronCraft]

@ansonmount This is a great thread. Speaking of threads, there are a lot of great questions being asked there too.

Just saying ;)

[Willow | The Black Apron @BlackApronCraft]

Find me on Threads:

https://t.co/uNAUjSTOvZ

[Micah Edwards (on Threads as @micahbedwards) @micahwrites]

"I'm afeminist," he told his date, laughing internally at his little joke. He knew she would hear it as two words, "a #feminist," and not as one with the prefix meaning "anti."

"That's wonderful," she said, eyeing him hungrily. "I think of myself as a humanitarian."

#vss365

[Micah Edwards (on Threads as @micahbedwards) @micahwrites]

"Choose your #fate," said the genie. It held out its hands. They contained only a single bone.

"What's that one?"

"Death."

"I don't want that!"

The genie shrugged. "People took all of the better options two thousand years ago. You should have gotten here earlier."

#vss365

[Micah Edwards (on Threads as @micahbedwards) @micahwrites]

After voting to make net neutrality
A man suffered boring banality
The whole internet stank
Because those who made bank
Had bled it of all its #personality.

#limerick #limericks #vss365

[Micah Edwards (on Threads as @micahbedwards) @micahwrites]

The war had ended months ago. The nations withdrew their troops and returned to peace.

All was quiet until a silo was #damaged by a meteorite. Its defense system interpreted the strike as a missile. As it had been programmed to do, it retaliated with overwhelming force.

#vss365

[Micah Edwards (on Threads as @micahbedwards) @micahwrites]

She looked like any other #punk, with her shaved head, leather jacket and motorcycle boots. In an odd affectation, she always wore ski goggles. No one ever saw her without them.

The leather jacket hid the classical beauty of her form. The shaved head removed the snakes.

#vss365

[Willow | The Black Apron @BlackApronCraft]

@micahwrites This is terribly, terribly disturbing.

[Micah Edwards (on Threads as @micahbedwards) @micahwrites]

There once was a nursemaid named Ellen
Who told the prince he was a hellion
For her disrespect
She earned an axe to the neck
Which began a bloody #rebellion.

#limerick #limericks #vss365

[Willow | The Black Apron @BlackApronCraft]

Relatable

[Micah Edwards (on Threads as @micahbedwards) @micahwrites]

There once was an unhappy clown. He
Always had a face that was frowny
But he didn't know
His blood sugar was low
And he really just needed a #brownie.

#limerick #limericks #vss365

[Micah Edwards (on Threads as @micahbedwards) @micahwrites]

You may meet a woman wearing oven mitts and carrying a hot tray. She will offer you a #brownie. Accept it. It is unsafe to say no.

In addition to the usual ingredients, they contain some of your hopes and dreams.

The brownie will be bitter. Ground-up dreams always are.

#vss365

[Micah Edwards (on Threads as @micahbedwards) @micahwrites]

Some folks believe the human bod
Was made in the image of God
But judging by angels
And all of their angles
He looks like a #cephalopod.

#limerick #limericks #vss365

[Micah Edwards (on Threads as @micahbedwards) @micahwrites]

Friends and countrymen, lend me your ears!
I come here to drink Caesar's beers
So hoist up a brew
(Yes, Brutus, and you)
To men who have lost reason: #cheers!

#limerick #limericks #vss365

[Willow | The Black Apron @BlackApronCraft]

@micahwrites

[Micah Edwards (on Threads as @micahbedwards) @micahwrites]

The host's dead body lay in the study. The guests stared in shock.

"Stand back! I'm a dream #investigator." A man in a tan trenchcoat stepped over the victim. "This plot is copyrighted."

"But the murder—"

"Murder happens all the time in dreams! This is THEFT."

#WeirdVSS

[Micah Edwards (on Threads as @micahbedwards) @micahwrites]

Denmark's monarch died suddenly
With two swollen bumps found near his knee
Some said such small stings
Were too weak to kill kings
Was it two bees, or not to #be?

#limerick #limericks #vss365

[Micah Edwards (on Threads as @micahbedwards) @micahwrites]

In the beginning, there was nothing. And nothing wondered what it would be like to #be.

There were particles and forces and great cosmic laws, stars and worlds and life. Cycles of creation and destruction ran until there was again nothing.

And nothing was satisfied.

#vss365

[Willow | The Black Apron @BlackApronCraft]

@micahwrites

[Micah Edwards (on Threads as @micahbedwards) @micahwrites]

A sea captain started to laugh
When he saw the shipwright's seventh draft
He said, "What the heck?
That long figurehead neck
Makes it look like you've made a G #Raft!"

#limerick #limericks #vss365

[Micah Edwards (on Threads as @micahbedwards) @micahwrites]

There is a city-sized #raft seen only by those hopelessly lost at sea. It is made of garbage and flotsam, lashed together with fishing nets and lost rigging. Derelict though it is, it looks like salvation.

If you see it, flee. The raft is the end of all hope.

#vss365