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I BEEN DRINKIN'

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"I DUNNO, LET'S JUST TURN EVERY SINGLE DEUTERAGONIST EVIL FOR NO REASON" --@DanSlott

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TYPICALLY I JUST GO TO BED AFTER THE ACID WEARS OFF. SOMETIMES YOU CAN'T DO THAT. SOMETIMES YOU HAFTA KEEP DRIVIN'

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ALL I CAN SAY ABOUT THE NEW SCARLET SPIDER BOOK IS AT LEAST IT'S NOT WRITTEN BY @DanSlott

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YOU GUYS EVER WAKE UP AND YOU'RE DRIVIN' HOME ON 66

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GUYS IF I DIE TELL EVERYONE I HATE THEM AN' I WAS ALWAYS BETTER'N THEM

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I DON'T TRUST THE GOVERNMENT

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GROUNDHOG DAY IS THE BEST TIME TRAVEL MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN

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HOO BOY, FOR A MINNIT THERE I THOUGHT I MIGHT BE GOIN' TO JAIL FOR A REALLY LONG TIME

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SHOWER WHISKEY IS LIKE A WARM HUG FROM AN OLD FRIEND

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GUYS LET'S JUST SUMMON A MINOR DEMON

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GUAIFENESIN IS ONLY THERE TO MAKE YOU THROW UP

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SOME ASSHOLE ASKED ME TO SPEAK TO MY SUPERVISOR TODAY AND I SAID NO

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EVERYBODY DOWNLOAD THE MANUAL TO KEEP TALKING AND NOBODY EXPLODES TO THEIR PHONES PLEASE

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https://t.co/5yaK3qFdDE

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DAMN GRRL ARE YOU A SMOKE DETECTOR CUZ YOU'RE SUPER ANNOYING AND WON'T SHUT UP

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MY NAME IS JEFF
https://t.co/0zcwxRiMTQ https://t.co/2QdyClQWDg

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IN SPY HARD LESLIE NIELSEN HAD A MECHANISM IN HIS HOUSE WITH WHICH TO EJECT BITCHES

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YOU CROSSED THE LINE AND PEOPLE TRUSTED YOU AND THEY DIED

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ALRIGHT JOYWAVE WAS COOL

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I DON' KNOW WHO THESE GUYS ARE BUT THEY'RE AWESOME