Sammich 🥪

Sandwich Technician // Professional Eavesdropper // Douchebag // Chapstick Hoarder

[Sammich 🥪 @BlackforestSam]

Rekindling my passion for juggling...

[Sammich 🥪 @BlackforestSam]

Looking for another victim to be in a serious relationship with me!

[Sammich 🥪 @BlackforestSam]

Sitting with my Dad on the deck and he just casually spoiled the entire 2nd szn of The Last of Us.

[Sammich 🥪 @BlackforestSam]

Who the fuck is Amy in the macaroni world

[Sammich 🥪 @BlackforestSam]

Remembering when Applebee's boneless wings used to be $7.50

[Sammich 🥪 @BlackforestSam]

Men will say they're serious about dating and then cancel their date with you for a chilis reservation with the boys

[Sammich 🥪 @BlackforestSam]

My dad gave me the most revolutionary advice recently and that is "cake is just the delivery system for the frosting like pancakes are just the delivery system for the syrup." I am just waiting for my inherited type II diabetes diagnosis. Thank you dad! #HappyFathersDay

[Sammich 🥪 @BlackforestSam]

Won't clean room but will clean the entire yard

[Roshan Rinaldi @Roshan_Rinaldi]

He's no fool.

[Ron Filipkowski @RonFilipkowski]

OK, let’s see the best signs that you saw today.

[Sammich 🥪 @BlackforestSam]

Walks into the kitchen at 9 pm, eats two dainty forkfulls of peanut butter, 5 chips with salsa, and a sliver of parmesan cheese. This is a true story. #girlsnack

[Sammich 🥪 @BlackforestSam]

"These fuckin clowns" at the geese hanging out by our house in the freezing rain and it's almost December.

[Sammich 🥪 @BlackforestSam]

I am not a toy. I am very dangerous contraband. #dailyaffirmations

[Bernie Sanders @BernieSanders]

It should come as no great surprise that a Democratic Party which has abandoned working class people would find that the working class has abandoned them.

While the Democratic leadership defends the status quo, the American people are angry and want change.

And they’re right.

[Sammich 🥪 @BlackforestSam]

...she types on an Elon Musks Twitter. Someone take me out back

[Sammich 🥪 @BlackforestSam]

Driving to work this morning without purpose, late, in an unusually dense fog. How ominous. How fitting for a day I would rather not remember.

[Amy Klobuchar @amyklobuchar]

Congratulations to @Ilhan Omar on another victory in CD 5! She is a powerful voice that has always fought to ensure equal opportunities for everyone in this country. Looking forward to continuing our work together.

[Sammich 🥪 @BlackforestSam]

GPS: >Turn right on 36th St > Turn left on 36th 1/2 St > collect the ruby red slippers > follow the Yellow Brick Road > say hi to Oz > there's no place like home > rerouting > take the 36th Ave exit...

[*Walter Bloomberg @DeItaone]

KAMALA HARRIS NAMED WINNER OF NICKELODEON'S KIDS PICK THE PRESIDENT "KIDS' VOTE" POLL

[Sammich 🥪 @BlackforestSam]

I sprayed this Prada perfume on me this morning without realising it smells like 3 Hollister stores... I'm "that guy" at work today and honest to God, I've considered spilling coffee all over myself.

[Fascinating @fasc1nate]

In April 1990, Ray and Marie Thornton were out for a casual Sunday drive along a rural highway in southern Michigan when a van suddenly sped past them erratically. They had been playing a little game of simply noting license plates they saw just to pass the time.

When Marie saw that the first letters of the speeding van's plate read "GZ," she joked, "Geez, he's in a hurry!" Moments later, however, laughter turned to terror when they saw that same van parked alongside an abandoned schoolhouse — and the driver carrying what looked like a bloody bundle of sheets.

The couple wasn't sure what to think and kept going, but then the same van appeared in their rearview mirror and roared right up to their bumper before chasing them down for the next two miles.

When the van suddenly veered off to the side of the road, Ray decided to turn around and try to get its full license plate.

But as they crept by the parked van once more, the Thorntons stared in horror as they realized that the inside of the vehicle was completely covered in blood. This scene was helped inspire the movie Jeepers Creepers.