Randy Travis

Beer, Blackouts and Blumpkins

[Randy Travis @BlackoutRandy]

Took a dump today @obj would probably pay good money for.

[Hootie @Hooters]

There are no more rules. Beer for breakfast. No pants during work hours. Hooters for Easter.

[Randy Travis @BlackoutRandy]

Any pregnant chicks want to come quarantine and have covid-19 sex with me?

[seraphina @seraphfem]

it’s so hot 😩 i wish i could put my titties in a ponytail

[Randy Travis @BlackoutRandy]

@KTTWFOX7 i cant tell what it is about clarence that really pisses me off. Is he a #ginger ?? I cant tell.

[Randy Travis @BlackoutRandy]

Seventeen years later and we still dont know who let the dogs out? #darnit

[Randy Travis @BlackoutRandy]

I sit down when i pee so my nuts can cool off in the water

[Randy Travis @BlackoutRandy]

Ever had a turd so tuff you had to pull it out?

[Randy Travis @BlackoutRandy]

@blakeshelton I have taken not one, not two, but three healthy dumps today. #MyColonFeelsGreat

[Randy Travis @BlackoutRandy]

I love @realDonaldTrump
Drop another bomb in the desert baby

[Randy Travis @BlackoutRandy]

Oh god, he dont know im in here. Sounds like a walrus whispering sweet nothings. #JustImagine

[Randy Travis @BlackoutRandy]

This deaf guy that i work with doesnt think anyone knows he jerks off in the bathroom but i hear his keys jingling. #GetItBud

[Randy Travis @BlackoutRandy]

All hail @LarryEnticer

[Randy Travis @BlackoutRandy]

@JManziel2 what team you playin for this year?

[Randy Travis @BlackoutRandy]

@GetNGoStores better call the plumber. Turns out your low grade toilets cant flush down shirt sleeves. #OopsieWoopsie

[Randy Travis @BlackoutRandy]

@GreaseLightnin_ how many ladies can you please at one time with your mustache?

[Randy Travis @BlackoutRandy]

@GetNGoStores there is no toilet paper in here, please send help! #diarrhea

[Randy Travis @BlackoutRandy]

Just powerwalked into @GetNGoStores thru the candy isle straight into the mens room. Didnt even have time to shut the door. #diarrhea

[Randy Travis @BlackoutRandy]

Eureka! The secret to taking a massive dump without breaking the turd off is all about the correct breathing technique. #FivePoundDumpClub

[Randy Travis @BlackoutRandy]

My New Years resolution is to watch more porn