Xander

There are no thoughts in this head

[Xander @BodetteXander]

I told my sister about how me and a girl I’d gone on a few dates with stopped talking and she said “yeah I figured since you were texting me about Elden Ring yesterday” like bitch you’re right but what does that have to do with it

[Xander @BodetteXander]

*at the gym going up to a guy using the urinal* hey, man, how many sets you got left

[Xander @BodetteXander]

I don’t have time to watch this 2 hour movie, so I’ll just watch 6, 20 minute YouTube videos instead

[Xander @BodetteXander]

If I find another fingernail on the ground at the gym I’m going to lose my mind

[Xander @BodetteXander]

@jeremybieniek @Seann_Smith Just speak from the heart and don’t go over 5 minutes because I will tackle you

[Xander @BodetteXander]

Sorry to the lady at the store whose android ringtone went off at max volume and made me laugh

[Xander @BodetteXander]

Saw an old guy at Kroger who had a shirt on that just said “same nightmare, different day” in plain text

[Xander @BodetteXander]

Don’t ask me why she looks like this because I don’t know

[Xander @BodetteXander]

Can’t wait to celebrate all of the freedoms and rights men and wome-Sorry, the freedoms and rights men have this Fourth of July!

[Mark @markiplier]

I don’t care if you don’t want to hear this; overturning Roe v. Wade is an erosion of women’s rights and reinforces this absurd, backwards notion that women shouldn’t be allowed to be in control of their own bodies. If you DON’T think that’s absurd and backwards, fuck you.

[Xander @BodetteXander]

The back of my neck hasn’t seen the sun in over a year and I got my haircut and it immediately got burnt the second it even saw sunlight

[Xander @BodetteXander]

Sorry to all my long hair fans, but I don’t think I can survive another summer with thick, long hair

[Xander @BodetteXander]

@MoustaphaD_ It’s a great show

[Xander @BodetteXander]

Is this a JoJo’s reference

[Y o u n g - A l c h e m i s t ✨ @MaDiTau__]

Do you realise how important it is to breathe correctly?

[Xander @BodetteXander]

I turned 23 today and finally get to experience my blink 182 birthday. Nobody will like me for the next year

[Xander @BodetteXander]

Studying for this FE exam is definitely taking a few years off my life

[Xander @BodetteXander]

I really spent $60 on elden ring just so the first NPC could call me bitchless

[Xander @BodetteXander]

God I’m getting old. I actually took the time to report a pothole to the city

[Xander @BodetteXander]

@austpawl This means nothing to me

[Xander @BodetteXander]

What the fuck is wordle