#ShitKyleSays

The Collected Wit and Wisdom of Kyle G #shitkylesays

[#ShitKyleSays @BookOfKyleisms]

"What do you mean it's not pee? It came out of my pee-pee" #shitkylesays #kyleisms

[#ShitKyleSays @BookOfKyleisms]

On WW1 Puns: "I'm very Passchendaele about them" #shitkylesays

[#ShitKyleSays @BookOfKyleisms]

"People from Phoenix are called Phoenicians" #shitkylesays

[#ShitKyleSays @BookOfKyleisms]

"Does she get a lot of random shit up people's asses ?" #shitkylesays #kyleisms

[#ShitKyleSays @BookOfKyleisms]

"When this thing warms up it just smells like the 70s. Hot dust and sepia photos of Anne Hathaway." #shitkylesays

[#ShitKyleSays @BookOfKyleisms]

"I just put the puffer in my butt and squeeze it. And it goes ksssssss." #shitkylesays #shitkyledoes

[#ShitKyleSays @BookOfKyleisms]

"Your cervix is like the portal from Stargate." cc: @stargate #shitkylesays

[#ShitKyleSays @BookOfKyleisms]

"It's when a man fucks a dingo and births a werewolf." #shitkylesays #sundaymorningchurchthoughts

[#ShitKyleSays @BookOfKyleisms]

"It tastes like raw Parisian fruit loop butt hole." #kyleisms #shitkylesays

[#ShitKyleSays @BookOfKyleisms]

"I've got an egg moving down my ovum, and if something happens, I could become a little bit pregnant. It's quickening." #Fridays

[#ShitKyleSays @BookOfKyleisms]

#SweetYak

[#ShitKyleSays @BookOfKyleisms]

"I'm going yakking. That's what I call kayaking... Next time I see a guy with a kayak, I'm just gonna say 'Sweet Yak' " #shitkylesays

[#ShitKyleSays @BookOfKyleisms]

"It splits in the middle. Only cardigans and vaginas can be described like that." #shitkylesays

[#ShitKyleSays @BookOfKyleisms]

"I want to ride him like an ostrich." #shitkylesays #kyleisms

[#ShitKyleSays @BookOfKyleisms]

"They have a cheese elevator in there." #shitkylesays

[#ShitKyleSays @BookOfKyleisms]

"I really felt like it was going to be a blustery Teddy Roosevelt fart" #shitkylesays

[#ShitKyleSays @BookOfKyleisms]

#shitkylesays: "Frebbels"

[#ShitKyleSays @BookOfKyleisms]

"It's like watching a train full of autistic children trying to stop themselves from plummeting off a broken, destroyed bridge."

[#ShitKyleSays @BookOfKyleisms]

"It would be funny if you were expecting to take a stagecoach ride but when you got there it was just one of those little racing buggies."

[Andrew Autio @AndrewAutio]

@BookOfKyleisms Jose Canseco and Aroldis Chapman would be proud #MLBwifebeaters #ShitKyleSays