Boring Updates

Cataloguing the most pointless status updates and stupid sayings from my life so you can experience inane stupidity and the beige of life on YOUR own feed!

[Boring Updates @BoringFriends]

"...and then, I was so scared that I had to eat a biscuit."

[Boring Updates @BoringFriends]

They are a big cheese in a small pond.

[Boring Updates @BoringFriends]

Isn't it weird, in the Paralympics, that it is always people with fewer limbs, rather than more?

Wouldn't it be good if there was an Olympics for people with more than the standard number of limbs?

[Boring Updates @BoringFriends]

My Dad had a hedgehog called Haggis.

[Boring Updates @BoringFriends]

I like seeing children on leashes. I don't know why, it just makes me laugh.

[Boring Updates @BoringFriends]

Ahhh yes. The player becomes the player.

[Boring Updates @BoringFriends]

That one wasn't really in our wheelpool.
Wheelhouse?
Yeah.

[Boring Updates @BoringFriends]

M: Ooh, that's a Michelin star restaurant. I wonder if it is Graham Norton's?
S: ...Do you mean Gordon Ramsay?
M: Oh yeah.

[Boring Updates @BoringFriends]

[When talking about who is going to look after the child whilst skiing]
M: "I think we should take it in terms"

[Boring Updates @BoringFriends]

Oh my god. Did you know that "I can't believe it's not butter isn't butter?"

[Boring Updates @BoringFriends]

https://t.co/Yc9SrOo6dR

[Boring Updates @BoringFriends]

[Talking about The Rhondda and the name Rhonda]
M: Is that like the fish?
All: What?
M: The fish called Rhonda?

[Boring Updates @BoringFriends]

"That Vanessa Carlton album was a banger...but Music Magpie wouldn't buy it off me!"

[Boring Updates @BoringFriends]

I keep thinking that Ted Lasso is Ted Bundy and think it's weird that people are obsessed with a serial killer.

[Boring Updates @BoringFriends]

M: ......
S: [Nothing]
M: .......
S: [Absolutely Nothing]
M: ....... "So, I was thinking about the chokey from Matilda..."

[Boring Updates @BoringFriends]

I went to the 2.30pm swimming session today (for over 60s). I (youngest there by 30 years) was the fastest one there!!!

[Boring Updates @BoringFriends]

What is the four person version of a quartet called?

[Boring Updates @BoringFriends]

"Sioni, Sioni, Do me. Don't be too vigorous, it will fall off"
It was a board game.

[Boring Updates @BoringFriends]

I think I am a purist when it comes to lemons.

[Boring Updates @BoringFriends]

*Someone Sneezes*
M: "Ges unter shite"
S: "... Gesundheit."