Evan Boshi

Improviser,
Culinary Action Movie Star,
Office-Dog

[Evan Boshi @Boshtunes]

The world is so messed up right now it feels like we're about to find out there actually ARE rules that say a dog can't play basketball.

[Evan Boshi @Boshtunes]

@LilaGraceRose What a waste! To think he could have wished for something useful or achievable!

[Evan Boshi @Boshtunes]

I often wonder if hiring @BretStephensNYT was a social experiment, a pity case, or a sad joke. Could be all three!

[Evan Boshi @Boshtunes]

I am literally champing at the bit to argue with a right-wing idiot about Michelle Wolf today. Send me your uncles, cousins, and former classmates! Even your grandparents aren't safe!

[Evan Boshi @Boshtunes]

Of course Trump is creating jobs*!

*for the Iranian contractors who will re-pave the airfields he's bombing in about 48 hours

[Evan Boshi @Boshtunes]

@linusgsebastian The volume wheel on my two year old G710+ broke and I just hope you never have to experience this pain!

[Evan Boshi @Boshtunes]

Gun nuts don't think they have to compromise because they're willing to shoot you instead.

[Evan Boshi @Boshtunes]

Go Fuck Yourselves @NBCOlympics #NetNeutrality #Olympics

[Evan Boshi @Boshtunes]

Can't wait to move to Vermont and raise heirloom kombuchas on my solar-powered bitcoin farm.

[Evan Boshi @Boshtunes]

Driving to LGA is like riding a Rube Goldberg machine through downtown Mosul.

[Evan Boshi @Boshtunes]

MFW when I'm Robert Mueller finding out Manafort is suing me:

[Evan Boshi @Boshtunes]

Oh man it's 2018 and I'm still writing "First poop of 2017!" on all my checks.

[Evan Boshi @Boshtunes]

Today we celebrate the birth of a magical conifer that came into this world immaculately lit with lots of little lights.

[Evan Boshi @Boshtunes]

@ActuallyCurtis the dinosaurs are jewish so...

[Evan Boshi @Boshtunes]

The only suspicious thing about @stevenmnuchin1 getting a package of horse shit is that he didn't IMMEDIATELY stick his face into it and roll around whimpering "I'm a good money boy aren't I, Daddy?"

[Evan Boshi @Boshtunes]

This is the first time I've ever hoped the rest of the country follows Alabama's example in anything that doesn't involve boiled peanuts. #DougJones

[Evan Boshi @Boshtunes]

A*/S**/L***?

*Age
**Seaworthiness
***Lobsters (feelings about)

[Evan Boshi @Boshtunes]

@aalupului This is truly incredible b/c my coworkers CLEARLY take full on baths in the sink after each dump.

[Evan Boshi @Boshtunes]

Leaked LoTR TV Show Casting:
- Kevin James as Frodo
- Leah Remini as Sam

[Evan Boshi @Boshtunes]

Mitch McConnell believing Roy Moore's accusers is the only evidence we have that he isn't a soulless turtle-golem held together by paste and it is SHAKY evidence.