Breets Fauc

[chris g 🟧 @crislake]

Like a Princess ? @realDonaldTrump #DressLikeAWoman

[Breets Fauc @BreetsFauc]

@IJasonAlexander makes sense though right?.. i mean...oh wait. ...why?!?!?!

[Breets Fauc @BreetsFauc]

Why cant @WilliamShatner be president? I mean, he commanded the USS Enterprise just fine.

[Breets Fauc @BreetsFauc]

Where did @lorde go?

[Breets Fauc @BreetsFauc]

@amandapalmer I don't know if you actually read these. Either way, your music inadvertently talked me out of suicide last night. thank you

[Breets Fauc @BreetsFauc]

Robin Williams died before it was cool.

[Breets Fauc @BreetsFauc]

Does anybody else immediately think of the mom from Bobby's World every time they hear @SarahPalinUSA speak?

[Breets Fauc @BreetsFauc]

Gluten Free Willy #ModernizeAMovie

[Breets Fauc @BreetsFauc]

I heard in the upside down Hilary won. Stranger things season two is going to be great television #2017Predictions @midnight

[Breets Fauc @BreetsFauc]

@MELANIATRUMP, Truly America's next FLILF #overheardatRNC

[Breets Fauc @BreetsFauc]

#notetoself If drunkenly depressed, don't ask the cab driver for a ride to the nearest tall building. No one can a take a joke anymore.

[Breets Fauc @BreetsFauc]

@envirodale you don't know what I am? Then how do you know I have a face to have something in?

[Breets Fauc @BreetsFauc]

@AesopRockWins continually making my morning mourning routine feel semi productive. #TheImpossibleKid

[Breets Fauc @BreetsFauc]

#5WordEulogy #sixseasonsandamovie

[Breets Fauc @BreetsFauc]

#ILearnedTheHardWayThat wet willies don't count as penetration. Turns out I'm still a virgin and shouldn't brag about my sexual exploits.

[Breets Fauc @BreetsFauc]

I only give money to vagrants because I fear I'm secretly being filmed for one of those idiotic YouTube videos about human kindness.

[Breets Fauc @BreetsFauc]

Welp...Holy Gawddamn fuckin shIt. Or whatever it is the kids say these days. What an incredible line up. https://t.co/eYC64fpH5J

[Breets Fauc @BreetsFauc]

If Jesus were to actually be real and actually come back, I'd probably actually nail him back to a cross.

[Breets Fauc @BreetsFauc]

@mariabamfoo Breaks my heart that I can't go tonight.Stupid Job.Come eat at The Tin Angel you can have whatever you want including my heart

[Breets Fauc @BreetsFauc]

If the holy spirit would have exercised common sense and worn a rubber we wouldn't be in this mess. #proreallife