todays tax season discovery is that if i use a smaller coffee mug, i can get more cups of coffee out of my french press than a larger mug, so i can trick myself into thinking i'm drinking more coffee
then sent paragraph messages to a recent ex with an open invite to join , in other words, next time i ever have a 3rd cup of coffee on any given day someone needs to take my phone away for the rest of the day
drank an entire pot of coffee then booked a train ticket to montana for immediately after tax season to preemptively plan for my post tax season escapism feelings
i feel like sometimes what i’m looking for in a relationship is more like what it looks like to have a pet dog. Just want someone to follow me around like a little puppy while i do my own thing and then i just have a companion around at all times
this evening is about sobbing and making butternut squash soup and putting on a cute lil playlist since i have the house to myself tonight (left alone to my own devices) , i love october
my therapist today telling me “do you think subconsciously, you are choosing emotionally unavailable men because of a/b/c of past?” girlie, i think at this point it is conscious 🙃 anyways,
Main takeaway from Oppenheimer is that it’s fucked up that Albert Einstein was a real guy. In my mind he’s a cartoon drawing of a cute, round old man with funny hair in a textbook who was smart or something. Don’t like the idea of him being tormented about blood on his hands.