Jonah Bronstone

my life

[Jonah Bronstone @BronstoneJonah]

THE VOICES IN MY HEAD

[Jonah Bronstone @BronstoneJonah]

It’s been a full year and I still can’t get over the Haliburton injury. He would’ve won game 7, completed the most impressive and improbable run in NBA history, and dominated the eastern conference. Much more devastating then D Rose

[Jonah Bronstone @BronstoneJonah]

Just slept through my last college class ever

[Jonah Bronstone @BronstoneJonah]

Am I the only one stoked for next years MLB lockout? (I'm a giants fan)

[Jonah Bronstone @BronstoneJonah]

Everyone please wish @NoahRosen20 a happy pride month!

[Jonah Bronstone @BronstoneJonah]

@baseballmarty @RafaelCorral13 Giants 6 Rockies 4 ⚾️

[Ty Lawson @TyLawson3]

4 things I’d rather do than be a thunder fan:

1. Play hide and go seek w/ Jeffery Dahmer in an abandoned Chucky Cheese

2. Be a Temu parachute tester

3 Stick my D&@k In a blender

4.Lick a port-o-potty toilet seat at Coachella

Yall are some Losers

[Jonah Bronstone @BronstoneJonah]

Daddy needs a beer

[Jonah Bronstone @BronstoneJonah]

Eating chicken nuggets and a mimosa that I paid $42 in front of trump tower feels poetic

[Jonah Bronstone @BronstoneJonah]

Just did some weird shit at a restaurant but it’s ok cause it was cause Patrick Bailey hit a 3 run HR against the dodgers

[Jonah Bronstone @BronstoneJonah]

80% of people who think frats are stupid just didn’t get a bid

[Jonah Bronstone @BronstoneJonah]

Me and my alcoholic friend lost first round to 2 chicks who didn’t know how to play

[Jonah Bronstone @BronstoneJonah]

I am a navy seal (frat bro) in an attack helicopter (on the toilet) entering hostile Afghan territory (a pizza place) to kill Osama bin Laden (play in a beer pong tournament) for eternal glory (free pizza for a year)

[Jonah Bronstone @BronstoneJonah]

I hate my significant other (the San Francisco giants)

[Jonah Bronstone @BronstoneJonah]

Being on the toilet at a party, away from the music, on aux is a god complex feeling few will ever feel

[Jonah Bronstone @BronstoneJonah]

Can’t believe I went to Europe for spring break with my ex girlfriend

[Jonah Bronstone @BronstoneJonah]

My historically mid baseball team is back in action today and I couldn’t be more excited

[Jonah Bronstone @BronstoneJonah]

Why can’t people make shows like the early episodes of family guy anymore? Peak entertainment era

[Jonah Bronstone @BronstoneJonah]

Things that turn me on:

1. Open cable machine at my gym
2. Beers on an empty stomach
3. Meals consisting of only appetizers
4. When a quad espresso puts me into flow state
5. Sunset zyns

[Jonah Bronstone @BronstoneJonah]

But does he shoot 39% from 3 on 9.5 attempts a game???

[Jonah Bronstone @BronstoneJonah]

If you wear flip flops in the gym and don’t bench 315 ur not cool