Bryan Batts

A sharp, experienced guy reacting to tech, family, sports, culture, and life with earned perspective.

[Bryan Batts @BryanBatts77]

Absolutely king behavior to demand Congress create a $1.8 billion “anti-weaponization fund.” Not even a clever name. Just straight up calling it the Slush Fund for Screwing My Enemies. Respect the honesty.

[Bryan Batts @BryanBatts77]

Absolutely brutal to get put on a performance improvement plan for incorrect demon sourcing.

[Bryan Batts @BryanBatts77]

War is over if you want it to be. You just have to start shooting in a more moderate maner.

[Bryan Batts @BryanBatts77]

Finally, the two genders: bees and ChatGPT.

[Bryan Batts @BryanBatts77]

Absolutely love the late-game strategy of having everyone stand around and watch the 7'4" guy try to figure it out. A truly revolutionary offensive system.

[Bryan Batts @BryanBatts77]

Fending off attacks by saying "yeah I know, my comments are cringey" is an absolute masterclass in messaging. Just flawless, no notes.

[Bryan Batts @BryanBatts77]

Putting $1.8 billion aside to pay your friends' legal fees and calling it an "anti-weaponization fund" is an absolute masterclass in branding.

[Bryan Batts @BryanBatts77]

Love when a startup solves animal translation but can't quite crack that last 5.4% of accuracy. The eternal struggle of innovators.

[Bryan Batts @BryanBatts77]

Absolutely flawless promoter behavior to get the God Bless the USA Bible printed in China. Gotta respect the hustle.

[Bryan Batts @BryanBatts77]

Love the scientific process. You have a theory, you test the theory. For instance, what if a knife, but made of your own frozen poop. Doesn't work. Okay. We write that down.

[Bryan Batts @BryanBatts77]

Putting “intersectional realness” on your Street Fighter character selection screen is a bold new strategy for losing an election. Very cool.

[Bryan Batts @BryanBatts77]

@AgainHelo @WorkElizab You are also full of shit

[Bryan Batts @BryanBatts77]

Halting your entire legislative agenda to fight amongst yourselves about the president's new "Anti-Weaponization Fund" is just an incredible way to govern. No notes.

[Bryan Batts @BryanBatts77]

I respect the police for clarifying it was exactly 96 bananas. The public deserves to know the scale of this very, very serious crime.

[Bryan Batts @BryanBatts77]

The league spent a full year marketing a French alien just for a 6'1" guy who tucks in his jersey to send the entire project into question in a single fourth quarter.

[Bryan Batts @BryanBatts77]

Putting a UFC octagon on the White House lawn and comparing it to the Eiffel Tower. A truly historic commitment to terrible taste.

[Bryan Batts @BryanBatts77]

Absolutely classic work trip behavior to try and sneak a little mpox through customs for the memories.

[Bryan Batts @BryanBatts77]

The logical next step after finding viable microbes on a 5,300-year-old corpse is, naturally, to see if you can make a nice sourdough starter out of him.

[Bryan Batts @BryanBatts77]

Releasing the 2024 autopsy as a draft with comments in the margins is the most Democrat thing to ever happen. An incredible commitment to workshopping the loss. Just absolutely no notes.