Bryan Bixby

Open mic comic's comic.
IG: bixbycomedian

[Bryan Bixby @BryanBixby]

Alopecia's gonna get a big head over being called a "serious disease" all day today

[Bryan Bixby @BryanBixby]

Quick, take note of all the people who are ok with being assaulted for saying words. No way that could backfire on any of you.

[Bryan Bixby @BryanBixby]

If comedians are gonna have to start defending ourselves on stage, we should replace the stool with a steel folding chair

[Bryan Bixby @BryanBixby]

Will Smith cried while he apologized but I bet he's a crisis actor. He has a whole IMDb page

[Bryan Bixby @BryanBixby]

I had heard the Fresh Prince reboot took a dramatic turn

[Bryan Bixby @BryanBixby]

@Doc_Dan_ @kathygriffin I don't know if you know this, but that head is fake.

[Bryan Bixby @BryanBixby]

@DustinMiszczak @toddstarnes No way. Then they say it's because of "democrat policies".

[Bryan Bixby @BryanBixby]

Yum! Brands should send Taco Bell MRE's to Russian troops

[Bryan Bixby @BryanBixby]

If gas prices go any higher I'm gonna start taking it intravenously

[Bryan Bixby @BryanBixby]

Getting a little worried about this Russia stuff. The girl bots in my DMs aren't replying to my messages.

[Bryan Bixby @BryanBixby]

So far, so good. I haven't heard who won the Superbowl. I'm waiting for it to come out on Blu-ray.

[Bryan Bixby @BryanBixby]

My grandpa passed away early this morning. That's just how mad he was about the halftime show.

[Bryan Bixby @BryanBixby]

I saw a video of @Oprah with a handful of the new Maya Angelou quarters. That's gotta be the first time in 30 years that Oprah has held a quarter. And it was still at least $20 worth.

[Bryan Bixby @BryanBixby]

The USA was ranked the 4th-drunkest country in the world. I didn't know the Winter Olympics had started already.

[Bryan Bixby @BryanBixby]

The best part of smoking cigarettes during covid is smug assholes no longer fake cough when they walk by

[Bryan Bixby @BryanBixby]

I don't like hentai. It's too obvious the girls are faking it.

[Bryan Bixby @BryanBixby]

Trying to catch up on politics. So far I'm up to Grover Cleveland.

[Bryan Bixby @BryanBixby]

My dick went soft while having sex with a girl, so I told her I have covid

[Bryan Bixby @BryanBixby]

What's with all these 90-something year old famous people dying left and right? Pretty spooky.

[Bryan Bixby @BryanBixby]

It's like when I think about smoking a bowl while there's one half burned in my hand

[Fact @Fact]

According to Psychology people are constantly wishing for something, whilst overlooking that they already have.