Brytyn

••this is why we can’t have nice things••

[Brytyn @BrytynP]

Just adding some glitter and bows to the mix🤪💕👶🏼

[Brytyn @BrytynP]

Check it out! Enter to win a batting practice experience and watch the Dodgers host the Padres on August 15th! @Ontprobaseball https://t.co/zklu6Hf6Ql

[Brytyn @BrytynP]

I will never understand how Ben made it on the guest list for this….🤣🤣🤣

[Brytyn @BrytynP]

Today felt like it was 72 weeks long….

[Brytyn @BrytynP]

Solo parenting is not for the weak.
I need a baked potato loaded with butter, cheese and bacon STAT.

[Brytyn @BrytynP]

My favorite thing ever is when one of the kids ((or both of the kids)) wake up in the middle of the night and i end up sleeping in their bed and then in the morning bens like ‘oh. What time did they wake up? I didn’t hear them’
🫠🫠🫠

[Brytyn @BrytynP]

Someone please tell me how the fuck beyonce won country album of the year????????????

[Brytyn @BrytynP]

Also I just want to know how Ben and I both managed to get strep throat within hours of each other and…neither of the kids had it/have it👀👀

We love it here🫠🫠

[Brytyn @BrytynP]

We’ve had our new health insurance for all of 19 days and 3 out of the 4 humans in the house have already visited urgent care….we love it here🫠😵‍💫

[Brytyn @BrytynP]

Also, I hope the employees cuss out upper management levels because the number of filled shopping carts that had to be put away from people not being able to check out was absurd.

[Brytyn @BrytynP]

The amount of joy it brings me knowing that the @Costco employees get to put back my absolutely filled to the brim shopping cart all because, out of nowhere, I can no longer use my husbands credit card even though he is literally on the Costco membership?!?!

[Brytyn @BrytynP]

Sometimes I wonder how I got a kid who is the farthest thing from a first time listener and then his dad comes home from work and it all makes sense….🫠

[Brytyn @BrytynP]

Anyways.
Pro-tip to parents: skip the toddler bed and go straight to a full/queen sized bed.
Also, order YOUR favorite blankets for the bed because you’re going to be the one in that bed every single night🫠🫠

[Brytyn @BrytynP]

Why is it always ‘mamaaaaa’ and literally never ‘daddyyyyyy’ in the middle of the night?! Or even the middle of the day would be great, too! Beggars can’t be choosers so i would take literally either option on occasion🫠

[Brytyn @BrytynP]

Test drove the dream mom car I want yesterday and I cannot stop thinking about it. Like…it was in my dream last night.
When did I turn into this person??? And why can I not get this car for another year?🫠😭

[Brytyn @BrytynP]

Going into the ER for the 2nd time in 10 days:
I think this is what’s wrong! It all tracks and adds up almost perfectly.

The hospital: mmmmm no, it’s a UTI. See? You have a fever! ((And literally no other symptoms of a UTI)) It’s gotta be a UTI and a UTI only.

[Brytyn @BrytynP]

New Taylor merch drops 30 minutes after Ben casually drops he’s going to Mexico on Thursday acting like I’ve known all along?! ((Plot twist. I didn’t know))
Cool cool, sounds like i just earned a few new merch items🤷🏼‍♀️

[Brytyn @BrytynP]

Not me tearing my rotator cuff SIX MONTHS AGO and only just now going to the doctor for it….welcome to being a mom🫠🫠

[Brytyn @BrytynP]

Did a workout class at 10am this morning and I’m already sore…help🥲🥲🥲🥲

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

two men near death arguing about who is better at golf to attain access to the nuclear codes. should i kill myself

[hannah @hannnahkristine]

Neither of them knows how to ball or knows Aristotle, so what’s the point