Meteor the Bull

Im a Yak that self identifies as a Spanish Bull. I’m bullish (ha!) on cruising the countryside, unencumbered by fences, in Lovingston Virginia. Stay back.

[Meteor the Bull @BullMeteor]

Gareth Moore @VADistillery secretly told me he actually prefers the Chardonnay Cask Finished Whisky. I snorted! (That’s actually what I do much of the time anyway). I’m like “Dude. You can’t have our kind of best in class facial hair and prefer scents of citrus!”

#earthybull

[Meteor the Bull @BullMeteor]

There is reporting that I was spotted today skulking around @VADistillery. Nothing could be further from the truth! Don’t you know I was there at the personal invitation of Gareth Moore to tip back some Brewers Batch Virginia-Highland Whisky?

#singlemaltbull
#refinedtaste

[Meteor the Bull @BullMeteor]

Astute WSET reporter @caroline_wset refers to my “great escape” in her segment. At long last, a member of the press who can see beyond my spellbinding good looks to see the wily Houdini like artist who engineered this daring jail break.

#inbroaddaylight
#atanintersection
#naked

[Meteor the Bull @BullMeteor]

@caroline_wset A needle in my backside will bring me down?

*rolls eyes*

You know I weigh like 1,400 pounds, right?

[Meteor the Bull @BullMeteor]

My previous owner-human envisions a day when I will be home in a grassy field with my own Facebook page. Seriously? Facebook? Do I look 100 years old?

#TwitterCool

[Caroline Eaker @caroline_wset]

A search is underway tonight in Nelson County for a Yak named Meteor that escaped his trailer while on his way to the butcher.

[Meteor the Bull @BullMeteor]

I’ve reached out to @RoyalFamily for tips on how to deal with a swooning British Press. I’m guessing Prince Harry will be the one to call me back since we both share that coarse facial hair, rugged good looks thing.

#BullBros

[Meteor the Bull @BullMeteor]

So the female human proprietor at the Orchard House B&B astutely states in this article that “he is one smart yak!” I can only assume her gushing comments about my virile masculinity and movie star good looks we’re edited out.
#devastatinglyhandome

https://t.co/ANgsXM7pEr

[Meteor the Bull @BullMeteor]

I was about to ask for asylum but then I realized I was in the vineyards at the Trump Winery. #BadIdea.

[Meteor the Bull @BullMeteor]

How did I really make my escape? Let’s just say it involves the DelFosse Winery and a couple of Pinot Gris French Oak Barrels. “Aromas with citrus, melon, and Yak apples.” Bottoms up!

[Meteor the Bull @BullMeteor]

So I was texting my buddy Andy Dufresne in Zihuatanejo and he asked me if crawled through a sewer pipe to make my escape. I’m like “Dude have you even seen Yak shit?” Old Andy couldn’t burrow his way through a pile of it with his rock hammer. LOL

[Meteor the Bull @BullMeteor]

I made the BBC news, because, you know, celebrity stuff.

https://t.co/SbKx3E74tU

[Meteor the Bull @BullMeteor]

I heard they’ve put out buckets of sweet tea and apple slices to draw me out of hiding. Do I look vegan?? I sport a nose ring! I’m actually knocking back bacon cheese fries and jalapeño lime pale ales at Wood Ridge Farm Bewery.

[Meteor the Bull @BullMeteor]

Have you ever been meandering through the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains and needed a quick way to see if your neutered? Asking for a friend. #nofingersoropposablethumbs

[Meteor the Bull @BullMeteor]

Just Googled “Mountain Oysters” and now I’m having an anxiety attack.

[Meteor the Bull @BullMeteor]

So I’m eyeballing the bachelorette party at Orchard House B&B. So going to crash it. The squirrel who just ran beneath me quips “I guess you are going to serve the girls your mountain oysters”. What? Herbivores don’t eat seafood. Must Google this.

[Meteor the Bull @BullMeteor]

A friend of mine asked me why I don’t eat beef and I told them “It makes me yak”.

Then my head exploded.

[Meteor the Bull @BullMeteor]

Hey Bread and Breakfast up on the hill:
Oatmeal OK
Eggs OK
Bacon OK
Turkey Sausage OK
Steak NOT OK (I have a beef with that)

Sometimes I crack myself up.

[Meteor the Bull @BullMeteor]

Want to take in a Mooovie?

[Meteor the Bull @BullMeteor]

No I don’t have my identification on me. Yes I do have horns and weigh 1,400 pounds. You should probably stay in the car, Sheriff Human.