Ya Rabb, forgive our sister Hadizah Onimago, raise her degree among those who are rightly guided, Forgive her and make her grave spacious, and grant her light in it. Ameen.
I'll never get over the fact that 1,000+ people looked at my little pink book and thought,
"Someone else should see this." 🥹
Because of you, Flaws found so many readers. To everyone who viewed, liked, commented, reposted, recommended my book, or bought a copy, thank you. Truly
Inna lillahi wa inna illahi rajiun. I was scrolling just now when I saw a post announcing the death of that lady, immediately recited Suratul Ikhlas, please do the same when you see the post. May Allah make her journey to the Barzakh and the questioning in the grave easy for her.
When I see a post I agree with and like, then immediately see another that counters it, which I also agree with and like...
The duality of human nature>
That satisfied sigh you heave after solving a problem you've been at for hours. Inferential Analysis on Excel, it's my first time, did it with my AI buddies Claude and Chat of course 😭♥️
and if love ever finds me again, i hope it's with someone who thinks about how their actions affect me,someone who considers my feelings before making choices and values my peace as much as their own because I'm not here to survive love again, I'm here to finally live it
Your daughter just got her first period.
Do not tell her she is a woman now.
Tell her what estrogen does.
Tell her what progesterone does.
Tell her her cycle has four phases and each one will feel different.
Give her information. Not a new identity.
I know a number of people who didn’t marry their “spec” but are in the healthiest marriages I know. Their spec was typically whatever was culturally deemed to be at the apex of the attractiveness pyramid when they were growing up. For a lot of guys in my generation, it was the music video “vixens” from the late 90s/early 2000s Hip & R&B music videos with ‘coke bottle figures’ and or light skinned eurocentric features. When it’s time to find a partner for the very serious endeavor of sharing a life with, that “spec” is simply inadequate as a measure of compatibility and that’s understandable. The foolishness though is communicating it as though their partner somehow didn’t measure up to their “spec” instead of simply admitting that the idea of their spec was stupid all along and a young boy’s lack of wisdom of what makes a good life partner.
Communicating publicly or even privately to your partner that they weren’t your spec to begin with may seem harmless, after-all you’re just being honest. But subconsciously, it’s an ego trip for you who “settled” and for your the partner, it’s a chip they will always carry on their shoulder that to you, they aren’t quite enough. They’re missing something you had always longed for, so much so that you still consider it to be your “spec”. It’s an unnecessary mind fuck and a cruel thing to say about somebody who is sharing a life with you. No matter how flowery you are with the compliments that come after. You’ve already knocked them down several pegs.
If the point is to say your spec changed then talk about the stupidity of having a spec to begin with. Because I’ve never heard anyone in these situations talk about character attributes being their spec, it’s always superficial stuff. Or speak about how meeting your partner opened your eyes to what true beauty is. Speak in ways that elevate and affirm your partner.
The purpose of keeping your virginity till marriage has lost its meaning.
You’re to keep your virginity because “GOD” asked you to, because it is a “SIN” to sleep around with men who aren’t your spouse.
Not because “you want to give it to your husband as a grand prize” in return for better treatment.
Virginity is an act of obedience, not a transactional gift.