The Real Scholes

Football Manager addict, Simon Pegg/Keith Lemon/Max Branning/Mitch lookalike and Beard Oil provider

[The Real Scholes @C_Jay28]

@BeddallStuart My Under 10s need some games

[LimmyTwitchClipsPlus @LTCPLUS]

Limmy’s Favourite Type of Joke

[The Real Scholes @C_Jay28]

@Hoainguyen888 Needles!

[Red Marrow @RedMarrow_]

If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor

[The Real Scholes @C_Jay28]

@JackTheJobber To be fair he would have had to invent the game of football, all of its rules, then the concept of “the premier league”. Then right the story that a young lad scored a goal. Witch story’s are easy….

[Gene Parmesan @dsonoiki]

Harry Potter is extremely overrated as a Quidditch player. Here are the facts:

First, he has an equipment advantage.

Year 1: he didn't even try out. McGonagall just put him on the team. Then he gets a Nimbus 2000 while everyone else is on discount, budget, school-issued brooms

Year 3: Harry's Nimbus 2000 gets destroyed by the Whomping Willow and he gets a Firebolt. Once again, he has an equipment advantage

Second, he misses too many games. The best ability is availability. Harry played in 9 Quidditch games at Hogwarts. Gryffindor had 13 games during that time. Harry missed 31% of his team's games

Now, let's look at Gryffindor's record with and without Harry

Book 1: Harry plays the first two games and misses the last one (infirmary). Team goes 2-1. He's 2-0 in games he plays

Book 2: Harry plays one game, last two get canceled. Team is 1-0

Book 3: the ONLY season Harry plays all three games. Gryffindor goes 2-1

Book 4: no Quidditch (Triwizard Tournament)

Book 5: Harry plays one game, attacks Malfoy, banned for life. Ginny steps in. Gryffindor wins the cup anyway

Book 6: Harry plays first two games, misses the last one. Gryffindor wins the cup anyway

Book 7: Harry is hunting Horcruxes with Ron and Hermione. Does not appear that Quidditch was played while school was under control of Death Eaters

In the 4 games Harry missed, Gryffindor went 2-2. Not great, but they survived without him

It's simple. Harry Potter is a great wizard. But as a Quidditch player? He's wildly overrated. You could argue that there are several people better than Harry at Quidditch: Victor Krum, Charlie Weasley, Cedric Diggory, Ludo Bagman, Ginny Weasley, Eunice Murray, Hamish McFarland

Also, it's been decades since Harry Potter played Quidditch. The game is much faster now. There are more analytics. The players are more athletic. Even the coaching is different

Let's stop hyping Harry as a Quidditch player

[90s WWE @90sWWE]

Shout out to the people that can still recite this word for word

[The Real Scholes @C_Jay28]

@The_Forty_Four

[Akunjee 🖋 @mohammedakunjee]

Trumps foreign policy predicted in comedy

[george @StokeyyG2]

Mainoo on the way to Carrington this morning

[conner @winterweather]

#ddtpro

[The Real Scholes @C_Jay28]

@NotFarLeftAtAll Age

[🔰UW26🔰 @TheUnitedWay26]

This has cracked me up 😂😂

[The Real Scholes @C_Jay28]

@ToffeeMc1878 @ts0179 Paul

[The Real Scholes @C_Jay28]

@BeddallStuart Sorry mate can’t make it

[The Real Scholes @C_Jay28]

@nocontextfm1 Actually selling players

[The Real Scholes @C_Jay28]

@FMTregz11 @WorkTheSpace They had this so right before 😂 Not sure how “new players” will find this part accessible

[The Real Scholes @C_Jay28]

@WorkTheSpace Not sure if just me but player comparison is almost unusable. Can only compare a player to one in your squad (without context of their position), graphs shown are truly basic. Just seems plugged in.

[〰️ @SenseiCarl_]

The Yanks it again, that ball is at least three times too big. It needs to be smaller before the start of the tournament 😤

[The Screen Rot Podcast @screenrotpod]

Q4 eve. Don't forget to leave a glass of Huel and a Zoe cookie out for Steven Bartlett tonight or you won't hit your KPIs 🚀📈💰