Draley

just keep me where the light is

[Draley @CalDan]

@onepeloton Amazing

[Draley @CalDan]

@xmaritvhelden @JMstore Same here! @JMstore ???

[Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal]

My wife is fed up

[Draley @CalDan]

Probably my most viewed clip of all time for real

[Draley @CalDan]

So real I can’t

[Draley @CalDan]

@JohnMayer God damn it

[Draley @CalDan]

@ndonovic

[Draley @CalDan]

I don’t understand why ppl from HS friend request me on Facebook 10+ years later

[Draley @CalDan]

Ugh it’s not that I don’t want to accept your lady challenge, it’s just that I don’t have a recent pic of me I like

[Draley @CalDan]

@chrissyteigen Dude: Quickie?
Me: I believe it’s prounounced “quiche”

[Draley @CalDan]

WOOOOOOOW they think health insurance is $20? Where is health insurance $20 in the U.S.? When I was on Obamacare, it was $180+/month and I was single, in my upper mid-20’s with no preexisting conditions. Such a fucking crock of shit.

[lynn dewitt, twïtters sweetheart @iamlynndewitt]

this is proof that rich people are so incredibly out of touch with reality

[Arik Forsman @arik_forsman]

To the handful of non-Duluthians emailing the city council telling us you will not visit Duluth because you will never wear a mask - that’s part of why we did it.

[Draley @CalDan]

@sunflowergirrl7 He emails me asking for a dollar

[Draley @CalDan]

2 different people have called me Carly today

[Draley @CalDan]

Today my mom said I don’t prioritize my family bc I won’t drive 9 hrs (18 hrs round trip!!) to see her over the Fourth of July during a pandemic 🙄 so I’m going to drink a whole god damn bottle of wine tonight that’s what’s up

[Draley @CalDan]

The view is better from the high road.

[best breakup lines. @bestbreakupline]

damn girl, are you a math book?

cause you've got a lot of fucking problems

[Draley @CalDan]

@conman1221 🙏🙏

[Draley @CalDan]

It’s kind of wild that when I tell ppl that there was a shooting outside of my apartment and that’s why I’m quarantining at my bf’s, all of my Chicago friends are like 🤷🏻‍♀️ and all of my non-chi friends are like 😳🤭😱

P.S. Connor if you read this don’t tell mom & dad