Calder Dalgleish

momma: @thoughtbrain

[Calder Dalgleish @CalderDalgleish]

HOLY HOTDOGS!

[Calder Dalgleish @CalderDalgleish]

The more scarier we make our decorations, the less candy we have to give out. So more candy for us.
👏Make 👏 It 👏Spooky👏

[Calder Dalgleish @CalderDalgleish]

Here take this key. Unlock the fun with it.

[Calder Dalgleish @CalderDalgleish]

YO! A golden chest plate, protection 2+, yo!

[Calder Dalgleish @CalderDalgleish]

You know what I want for Christmas? The power of invisibility.

Can Santa get me that?

[Calder Dalgleish @CalderDalgleish]

I’m sorry I drank 3 capri suns, I can’t eat my dinner #waddlesaway

[Calder Dalgleish @CalderDalgleish]

I want brie! Give it to me straight up!

[Calder Dalgleish @CalderDalgleish]

And then there’s a secret one. I’m scared to tell you this. You might think that it’s not real but it’s real.

It’s bad guys that are making a secret weapon called a nuclear gun. Do you know what it does? (I’m scared to tell you this) it can explode things the size of this HOUSE

[Calder Dalgleish @CalderDalgleish]

Things I hate:
1. Nuclear bombs
2. Guns
3. Avalanche
4. Lavanche (avalanche with lava)
5. Everlanche (very long avalanche)
6. Lasers that can sting you
7. Jellyfish (cause their tentacles can sting you)
8. Bad Fires
9. Ice that can freeze you
10. Tornadoes

[Calder Dalgleish @CalderDalgleish]

Did you know that Queen Elizabeth would put lead on her face, and died from lead poisoning?

[Calder Dalgleish @CalderDalgleish]

It’s not a toenail, it’s a claw #caldercat

[Calder Dalgleish @CalderDalgleish]

A bunch of hydrogen and helium mixed together to make the Big Bang. That’s how the Big Bang was born and then made the sun. Then there were some rocks that crashed into each other and made planets. And that’s how everything was born.

I read it in a book.

[Calder Dalgleish @CalderDalgleish]

Did you know, the earth can evaporate water even though it’s in your house?

[Calder Dalgleish @CalderDalgleish]

Did you know, you have 1% phosphorus in your body?

[Calder Dalgleish @CalderDalgleish]

When I grow up, I want to make a road called “Butt”

[Calder Dalgleish @CalderDalgleish]

When I say the road is long, that means we don’t have any customers right now. #lemonaidstand

[Calder Dalgleish @CalderDalgleish]

The road is long, momma

[Calder Dalgleish @CalderDalgleish]

I told my friends I was born on a rainbow and they believed me.

[Calder Dalgleish @CalderDalgleish]

Maybe you can go to the store, buy some escargot, and cook it. Then you can add it to my lunch when I go first grade.

[Calder Dalgleish @CalderDalgleish]

I love escargot!