Gilgamethamphetamine

In jail for breaking Murphy's law.
he/him

[Gilgamethamphetamine @Calvinc98_]

It's days like these that you just want to curl up inside nice and cozy, and summon Aranak'tu, god of the underworld, blessed be his name

[Gilgamethamphetamine @Calvinc98_]

@RespectfulMemes All fun and games until the remote picks up

[John Attridge @John_Attridge]

Multifactor authentication is getting out of control. Now I am supposed to string my bow and shoot an arrow through 12 axe heads?

[Gilgamethamphetamine @Calvinc98_]

There are 4 clocks in the room I'm sitting in

All 4 are showing different times

Not a single one is showing the correct time

[Gilgamethamphetamine @Calvinc98_]

If Christopher Nolan's Odyssey doesn't have this joke in it, I'm rating it 0/10

[Gilgamethamphetamine @Calvinc98_]

Live action Odyssey where one of the suitors comes up to Penelope and is like: "why have you not chosen one of us yet? Nobody is your husband right now!", and she just looks directly into the camera like:

[Gilgamethamphetamine @Calvinc98_]

@ChrisRGun It's all 72-dimensional Time-travelling wizard chess, Chris. He totally has a genius plan, Chris. Right before the midterms everything will seemingly miraculously right itself. Trust the process bro

[Gilgamethamphetamine @Calvinc98_]

@SiriusXMOctane The correct answer is not enough

[Gilgamethamphetamine @Calvinc98_]

Fish fear me
Women fear me
I fear me

I have accidentally cast the Fear spell centered on myself, please help

[William Hogeland @WilliamHogeland]

Yes, it's very notable in Homer how great men drive all the action, with no interference from other, much more powerful forces, often associated with natural phenomena and frequently female.

[Gilgamethamphetamine @Calvinc98_]

@CSMFHT The more things change, the more they stay the same, lol

[Gilgamethamphetamine @Calvinc98_]

@3YearLetterman I think "human" is a bit strong of a word here

[Gilgamethamphetamine @Calvinc98_]

>called Snowboard Vendor
>only has skiis

1/10 literally unplayable

[Gilgamethamphetamine @Calvinc98_]

@CSMFHT

[Empyrian @empyriangaming]

I was under the impression that this happened in the 1700s.

[Gilgamethamphetamine @Calvinc98_]

@RespectfulMemes Anytime someone's in my car they are getting a crash course on good music

[Gilgamethamphetamine @Calvinc98_]

@philthatremains I work in biotech, have been for the last 5 years or so, plus 4 years of college before that. I still flip the E and I in "protein" 50% of the time

[Gilgamethamphetamine @Calvinc98_]

@3YearLetterman They can't even afford water for their showers, much less their water beds. Truly a sad state of affairs

[Commentary Donald J. Trump Posts From Truth Social @TrumpDailyPosts]

Soon

[Gilgamethamphetamine @Calvinc98_]

@3YearLetterman Legit thing I've been thinking about. 30 years ago you hear someone say "the world is run by jews who control the weather with satallites" and you'd turn and see some dude that has more meth than blood in his system. Nowadays things like that are said by some dude with a chad pfp

[Lucid™ @cammakingminds]

If you are using the earth as a reference frame, the moon is actually doing a close flyby of Artemis II.

[Gilgamethamphetamine @Calvinc98_]

@FINALLEVEL You get so much work done I can't really fault someone for thinking "damn, there must be more than one of this dude"