Cam Brady

VOTE Cam Brady. Your mama's like a vacuum cleaner: she sucks, she blows and she gets laid in the closet. This Parody Account is not affiliated with The Campaign

[Cam Brady @CamCampaign]

Another day at work... I'm having as much fun as a colorblind person playing twister.

[Cam Brady @CamCampaign]

If people could read my mind I would probably get punched in the face. A lot.

[Cam Brady @CamCampaign]

I can't make Casey Anthony jokes. My mom would kill me.

[Cam Brady @CamCampaign]

I remember my first day on Twitter... I was like, "What the fuck is this shit?"

[Cam Brady @CamCampaign]

So this guy walks into a gay bar, never mind you were probably there.

[Cam Brady @CamCampaign]

Don't pick on fat people. They have enough on their plates.

[Cam Brady @CamCampaign]

"LOOK AT THIS BITCH FLASHING HIS GANG SIGNS AT ME!"
"Grandma please! He is deaf!"

[Cam Brady @CamCampaign]

Mashup oreos and put in flower pot. Eat in public.

[Cam Brady @CamCampaign]

Cashier: have a nice day. Me: Don't tell me what to do.

[Cam Brady @CamCampaign]

Juggling soap in prison because you are a fearless bastard.

[Cam Brady @CamCampaign]

Bet a female friend she can not use both of her elbows to touch her belly button. Watch and enjoy. You are welcome.

[Cam Brady @CamCampaign]

Seriously iPhone stop auto correcting all my fucks into ducks. Your making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.

[Cam Brady @CamCampaign]

Does having sex with your seat belt on count as having safe sex?

[Cam Brady @CamCampaign]

Toilet paper and my iPhone have a lot in common... both are essential when I take a shit.

[Cam Brady @CamCampaign]

Cleavage... its like the sun, ok to take quick glances... but dangerous to stare.

[Cam Brady @CamCampaign]

I would slap you but that would be animal abuse.

[Cam Brady @CamCampaign]

Friends are like flowers. If you eat them, they die.

[Cam Brady @CamCampaign]

There are cheaper ways to get people to call you a douche bag then wearing Ed Hardy shirts.

[Cam Brady @CamCampaign]

Crocs are for people who want to add a degree of difficulty to getting laid

[Cam Brady @CamCampaign]

"My son asked me "Where do babies come from?"
I said, "I got you at Chuck E Cheese"