Candace (Garage Raccoon)

Bibliophile, Coffee lover, Gamer, Crazy person, momma of 3 cats, gold medal in lurking, random raccoon that lives in your garage. she/her Grey-ace 🏳️‍🌈

[Candace (Garage Raccoon) @Candace0041]

Me: Walks into a place

Universe: Sends 12 people in after me 5 mins later

Me: Realizes she might be a people magnet.

Listen, I didn't ask for this!

[Candace (Garage Raccoon) @Candace0041]

Ok, people, time to be Russia's winter in 1941. Cold, uncomfortable, and is able to stop certain people in their tracks.

[Candace (Garage Raccoon) @Candace0041]

Uhhh...hello to the people who liked my post 15 YEARS ago.

[Candace (Garage Raccoon) @Candace0041]

Psst! Find me here! https://t.co/lREKo92cSA

[Candace (Garage Raccoon) @Candace0041]

Psst! Find me here! https://t.co/lREKo92cSA

[Candace (Garage Raccoon) @Candace0041]

I thought we were done with daylight savings time.

[Candace (Garage Raccoon) @Candace0041]

I feel like society needs more menaces.

[Candace (Garage Raccoon) @Candace0041]

January has been a very long Monday.

[Candace (Garage Raccoon) @Candace0041]

the males out because it's going to be very cold very fast and stored their food close to the queen. An indication of colder temps this year.

[Candace (Garage Raccoon) @Candace0041]

I was today years old when i found out that female bees yeet male bees out of the hive to preserve food sources before the cold sets in. That includes male larva as well. Female bees can sense when it is about to get cold. This year in some climates they have already kicked

[Candace (Garage Raccoon) @Candace0041]

Do you remember those people who open witch jars and forbidden boxes on Tik Tok? Now look what is happening! Congrats to those people, they are dicks!

[Candace (Garage Raccoon) @Candace0041]

Welp, I believe that Hillary might be the latest name to be retired from being another hurricane. I could be wrong, so don't rely on me.

[Candace (Garage Raccoon) @Candace0041]

"This is my work" says a 3 year old as he loudly sighs and put down a stack of magnet tiles on a table.
Me thinking: Dang, this kid is ready for the real world.

[Candace (Garage Raccoon) @Candace0041]

Overheard at snack time: "my fish got booby".
Me: ..."what did you say?"
Kid: "my fish got boo boo"
Me: "ooooh!" 😅

Life as a childcare provider!

[Candace (Garage Raccoon) @Candace0041]

The UFO "leak" is just one of those distractions to shield from what is really going on in Congress. Don't fall for it!

[Candace (Garage Raccoon) @Candace0041]

Northeast summer weather be like 🌞 to ☁️⛈️🌦🌧☁️🌞 in the span of 10 minutes

[Candace (Garage Raccoon) @Candace0041]

History majors know a lot more than you think.

[Candace (Garage Raccoon) @Candace0041]

Celebrating American Independence Day like:

[Candace (Garage Raccoon) @Candace0041]

Round two! It smells like my neighbor barbecuing.

[Candace (Garage Raccoon) @Candace0041]

Damn, I had popcorn ready too

[CNN Breaking News @cnnbrk]

Wagner boss Prigozhin publishes new audio claiming he is turning his forces around from a march toward Moscow https://t.co/PwZ4Nc7bC3