Captain_Awesome

Back and better than ever. Now with 30% more sarcasm.

[Captain_Awesome @Captain_aweso]

I don't know how I ended up in this lesbian bar but I'm having a blast

[Captain_Awesome @Captain_aweso]

I saw a dolphin. That is all.

[Captain_Awesome @Captain_aweso]

@sarii_potter you're blind stinking sober.

[Captain_Awesome @Captain_aweso]

School let out, quick everybody go buy your kid toys so you dont have to deal with them

[Captain_Awesome @Captain_aweso]

the point of the game is a low score, a child over 3 is 5 points with 1 additional point per year capping at 10 +5 every 20 min closer to 11

[Captain_Awesome @Captain_aweso]

And now for my favorite part of the night, a game i call "are you a bad parent?"

[Captain_Awesome @Captain_aweso]

Na na nana na na na the katamari in high def!

[Captain_Awesome @Captain_aweso]

I ate the perfect storm, hot pocket and flaming hot cheetos. my guts feel like someone put bricks in a dryer.

[Captain_Awesome @Captain_aweso]

When i find out who keeps stealing my pens im going to break their writing hand.

[Captain_Awesome @Captain_aweso]

The best part about the cat box being in the bathroom is i can always blame ungodly smells on that.

[Captain_Awesome @Captain_aweso]

@sarii_potter like i haven't done wheat before.

[Captain_Awesome @Captain_aweso]

Let the next 15 hours of debauchery begin!

[Captain_Awesome @Captain_aweso]

Fish.

[Captain_Awesome @Captain_aweso]

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a. Lightbulb?

[Captain_Awesome @Captain_aweso]

back with a new name and new posts to come.

[Captain_Awesome @Captain_aweso]

@MojangTeam My game keeps freezing on update and if i skip the update and won't let me play offline. suggestions?

[Captain_Awesome @Captain_aweso]

Down with the sickness is not stripclub music.

[Captain_Awesome @Captain_aweso]

3 hour wait for 20 minutes of shopping, but I got my tv and that's all that matters

[Captain_Awesome @Captain_aweso]

@gonekirkin 46' 1080p LCD for 298, 20th in line w/ a 3 hr wait. Will kill dragons in high def.

[Captain_Awesome @Captain_aweso]

The wait begins. The tv will be mine!