Phteven

“I don’t want to be a good man. I want to be a great man”

[Phteven @Captain_Shteve]

@LittleZ_SSB do u want this drawing, LittleZ? I feel like u could appreciate.

[Phteven @Captain_Shteve]

Art school in a nutshell:

Student: “omg that’s so GOOD! 😊”

Me: “yeah but why is it good?”

[Phteven @Captain_Shteve]

“Happy Birthday, dad! Dja’ get yer prostate checked yet er wha’?” -me being the ultimate son

[Phteven @Captain_Shteve]

@laurennmacleann Hell yes

[Phteven @Captain_Shteve]

Sooo Stan Lee is dead, and Ryan Renolds is now Pikachu. What? What the fuck?
#pokemon

[Phteven @Captain_Shteve]

When the highway pot hole is so big that you temporarily lose control of your vehicle and swerve a bit >

[Phteven @Captain_Shteve]

@laurennmacleann I mean, it’s probs radioactive af, and it would probs make u sick. However it’s probably super tasty

[Phteven @Captain_Shteve]

Everyone on finals presentation day: “Fuck, mine sucks.”

[cass @catsidyy]

tbh i should be a youtuber

[Phteven @Captain_Shteve]

I can’t watch these movies the same now, knowing that I had my arm wrapped around this boy

[Phteven @Captain_Shteve]

Adam Sandler really struck back with that Phone, Wallet, Keys song 👍🏻

[Phteven @Captain_Shteve]

@Casssidyysmith It’s really great you acknowledged these tweets 🙏🏻

[Phteven @Captain_Shteve]

Can I get a large crack cocai- I mean double-double?
#canada

[cass @catsidyy]

i need a real big hug y’all

[Phteven @Captain_Shteve]

this legalization is making history yo

[Phteven @Captain_Shteve]

Suck fakes

[Phteven @Captain_Shteve]

“Just power through this self portrait for a couple more hours, then I can do as much drugs as I want.”

[Phteven @Captain_Shteve]

“I read somewhere that if you can draw a perfect circle without trying, you’re probably insane.”

Me: *draws an oval* “guess I’m absolute.”

[Phteven @Captain_Shteve]

@Casssidyysmith Watch all of them, the only Marvel movies I go back to tbh, and Logan is pretty dope