Captain Nerk

Nerk 🍄 Ezekiel 23:20 💫

[Captain Nerk @CaptainNerk]

the devil and god are raging inside me

[Captain Nerk @CaptainNerk]

a guy named Waluigi Mangione who jumps in front of the bullet during an assassination attempt of Jeff Bezos

[Captain Nerk @CaptainNerk]

Merriam-Webster’s 2025 word of the year: Wigger

[Captain Nerk @CaptainNerk]

Congrats to Italian Beef on the promotion

[Captain Nerk @CaptainNerk]

most adorable maga sighting to date

[Captain Nerk @CaptainNerk]

maga✨💅💫🖋️

[Captain Nerk @CaptainNerk]

AI may destroy humanity but it’s so important for helping me realize my dream of owning a minor league baseball team made up of men with huge guts

[Captain Nerk @CaptainNerk]

girls on Animal Crossing vs boys on Animal Crossing

[Captain Nerk @CaptainNerk]

My wife said she would bang Josh Gad so imma kill myself

[Captain Nerk @CaptainNerk]

Gonna be Nosferatu for Halloween and it’s just going to be me, but naked.

[Captain Nerk @CaptainNerk]

Huge come-up

[Captain Nerk @CaptainNerk]

I can’t believe the genius mind that gave us “Scoopity Poop” has gone so far off the rails

[Captain Nerk @CaptainNerk]

☀️

[Captain Nerk @CaptainNerk]

First still released for upcoming HBO series The Penguin (2024)

[Captain Nerk @CaptainNerk]

$500,000 or dinner with Lil B?

[Captain Nerk @CaptainNerk]

I am people

[Captain Nerk @CaptainNerk]

People don’t even ask for your vape anymore, they just look at you like this.

[Captain Nerk @CaptainNerk]

I am become Walmart

[Captain Nerk @CaptainNerk]

The European mind can’t comprehend this

[Captain Nerk @CaptainNerk]

#MandelaEffect